Second Chance
by Aphina
Summary: POV: OC. Speed survived the shooting and now clashes with the newbie as he forced to share his beloved Trace Lab. His life hits another turn when he stabbed in the line of duty, resulting in an IAB Investigation that forces a few secrets to come out.
1. Chapter 1: Catching Up

Chapter One

I had been sitting in the uncomfortable chair for several minutes now. The silence of the room was overpowering, so I began to tap the heel of my brown leather boot against the metal leg of the chair, liking the noise it was making, due to the fact it helped me evade the silence. I'd been waiting for my new boss to appear for a while now, and I was starting to get antsy being in the stifling surroundings of his office. Looking around I was aware that the office didn't looked lived in. I sighed thoughtfully, knowing Horatio as I did I bet the guy spent lot of time in the field. I twisted around awkwardly in the rigid restraints of the guest chair.

What the hell did they make these things like this for? I asked myself quietly. In the back of my head I had a vague image of a naughty child waiting for a headmaster. That's what I felt like right now. It didn't help that the office was dusky and war, he hadn't opened his blinds so thin shreds of light marked the darkened room. My fore arms became clammy underneath the sleeves of my thin black cotton blouse.

I looked briefly at the silver faced watch on my pale wrist and then back at the desk. It was useless; I couldn't do anything until Horatio was here. I looked at Horatio's desk curiously, seeing a few framed pictures on there. I remember he used to have just one of Yelina, Ray and Ray Jnr. It was a nice family picture, when I first saw it I teased him about how different he and his brother were. Ray was a family man, and Horatio was solitary. There were other differences too. Unfortunately Horatio had given me that grim remising smile of his and told me his brother had died a few years before in an under cover Narcotics investigation. As you can tell I now stay well away from making comparisons anymore unless they were in the field. In general I was an inquisitive person, basically in other words I was nosy. Standing up out of my chair, I rationalized this with the fact I was only stretching. Ignoring the smart side of myself I turned all three of the framed pictures towards me, and then abruptly sat down in my chair, scooting it closer towards the pictures in front of me. Carefully I put my elbows on my knees leaning forward in the chair to get a better look at the photographs. One was the original I'd seen of Yelina, Ray, and Ray Jnr at Christmas time. I studied it for a few minutes. They did look like a real family unit. Yet I was also aware appearances could be deceiving. My own family had looked a lot similar before my father had begun abusing my brother. Hell it had looked a lot similar in the years that followed. The morale learned was that appearances are the most deceiving things on the planet. My own father taught me that through experience.

Moving on I handled the next picture a little more carefully, a smile on my face. This one was of the team of C.S.I's Horatio led. I knew the restaurant it was taken in, Horatio had taken me there once when I had been visiting. It did good Chinese. I studied the faces of each person carefully. My guess said they were celebrating someone's birthday, from the party hat on Horatio's head and the cake in front of him I'd say it was his. It was a rare to see that smile on his face; it was a content smile of a man who at that moment feels fulfilled. I studied the crowd around him. Leaning in close next to Horatio was Eric Delko holding a champagne glass up to the camera; I smiled at the memories of him in Liverpool, and then later again in Miami. We'd had a great time, and had become fast pen buddies over the internet. It was weird that in such a short space in time we'd become close friends. He kept me updated on stuff over here while I did the same for stuff in England. The guy had caused quite a stir over where I had lived with the ladies. My friend Alicia called him gorgeous. I however called him cute. In my last Miami visit we'd hung out quite a lot and got to know each other more. I was aware of his lady's man status, yet still respected him, he was like a normal older brother to me, which was great, I didn't really know what having an older brother felt like.

Mine was a degenerate right now; he'd become a drug addict after my father had killed himself. I used to get regular calls to bail him out of custody every so often, until I once made the mistake of letting him stay at mine for a while. He was part of the reason I was moving to Miami.

Next to Delko was a woman with long blond hair that cascaded down her back to her waist. She was stunning, everything about her screamed confidence. From Eric and Horatio's descriptions I guessed that this bombshell was Calleigh. The broody looking guy next to her with a mass of dark curly, probably Tim Speedle aka Speed. The only remaining person in the picture was a pretty dark skinned woman I knew to be Alexx Woods, the teams M.E. According to Horatio she had a way of adopting people, becoming the surrogate mother of the family that had been born here in the C.S.I lab.

Replacing the picture I turned it back to face Horatio's comfortable chair. I reached out, touching the cool glass of the other picture bringing it closer to my face. It was of a red headed child and a blond woman. Susie and Madison, Madison looked a hell of a lot like Horatio, yet I was aware that she was actually his niece and not his daughter. I'd met them both on my last visit to Miami, and spent a few days hanging out with Susie and playing with Madison. They'd stayed at Horatio's whilst Susie's apartment was being renovated. I'm not entirely sure how I'd gained the trust to know that knowledge, but I was very aware that they all must have seen something in me that gave off that vibe. I was terribly afraid of losing their trust, or of failing them.

I released the picture and returned it to its original place. I strand of my own wavy black hair fell in front of my face, I pushed it back with my hand irate, still looking for something to do. I pulled my hair back with my hands and twisted it around to the back of my head. Holding it there with one hand I bent down routing fruitlessly for the black hair clip I knew had to be right of the bottom of my leather rucksack. Feeling it with mixed with some pens at the bottom of the bag; I struggled to yank it out whilst attempting successfully to keep my hair in place. Somehow on the way out I knocked the rucksack tipping its contents out across the brash green carpeted floor, causing a mix of pens, tampons, notepads and loose change to cascade along the floor under Horatio's desk and across the place where my dark browned booted feet were. Sighing at the same time as securing my hair, I became aware of footsteps echoing through the building silence. I bent down quickly attempting to scoop everything into the bag at once in a desperate hope that no one would enter thinking I was a complete idiot. The door swung open, letting Horatio find me sitting, rather red in my seat turned away from him. I turned my head towards him slightly. My fingers entwined together, hopefully giving a professional impression.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. I was held up at the trace lab." He told me reading a report; he sat down at his desk before looking me in the face to see who had been transferred to his department.

"Eva?" The look on his face was one that I had never seen before, I guess he was surprised. A warm smile broke through his shock as we both stood up, looking each other up and down. He looked clean and well kept as usual, sporting his trademark sun glasses and a black suit and shirt. The look was very Horatio Caine. When we were in England I used to joke with Delko about it. We embraced over his desk, it was awkward but still I was glad he was acknowledging our friendship here. Moving to Miami had been a big step for me. We both sat down staring at each other for a moment. Him at me in disbelief, over the fact I was actually here, and me at him wondering how much he'd changed since I last saw him.

"It's great to see you." I told him as he watched me over the desk. I guess I was a little early.

"I didn't actually think you'd of took me up on the job offer." He told me with a ghost of a smile. His eyes were on mine all the time, the report lay in front of him forgotten.

"When the call comes…" I told him, looking down at the slight creases in my light brown fitted trousers.

"So what brings you to Miami?" Horatio asked me pointedly, his voice was low now, set a personal tone. I fiddled with my hands and then raised my eyes to meet his.

"A lot of things." I told him, I didn't really want to talk about this with him, I had a lot of stuff I didn't deem as proud as in my past, although both Eric and Horatio knew some stuff, and Susie knew a lot more. We had more in common than you think.

"Charlie?" Horatio leaned forward on his desk, and gazed into my eyes. Charlie was my brother. I took a deep breath before replying.

"Charlie is part of it. I needed a change of setting also." I shifted uncomfortable under his gaze. Suddenly I knew what this seat was for, interrogation. Horatio kept his eyes on me, changing the subject; he leaned back in his seat, looking thoughtful.

"How's Abbey?" he asked with a thin smile. I let out a small sigh of relief, and returned it.

"She's fine, her father's looking after her in England, while I set up here, then I'm going to go back and bring her over, it's easier that way." Abbey is my three year old daughter.

"And how is Mark coping with all of this?" he asked me conversationally. I knew in my mind he was trying to get a grasp of the situation in case I needed help in the future. That was the great thing about Horatio he would do anything for anyone.

"Since he suddenly decided when I was leaving he wanted to have a role in his daughter's life…" I began bitterly. When I'd told Mark I was pregnant, he wanted me to abort our child. As you can tell I didn't listen to him. With the help of my parents, I single handily raised Abbey, it was only recently Mark had taken an interest in our child, he'd even tried to reconcile with me, but I was long past playing happy ever after with him. He'd left me alone to fend for our daughter, and that was something I couldn't forgive, she was just getting to know her father now.

"He's been putting up a fight; he tried to make me stay in Liverpool." I confessed to Horatio. He starred at me pointedly.

"I didn't want to stay. This is a fresh start for me, I made a few friends when I came here, and I want to leave all that behind. Mark wanted me to stay because he feels guilty because he didn't want any contact with Abbey when she wasn't moving away." I told Horatio. He nodded in response. I clenched my mouth shut; there were a few other things I didn't want to talk about.

"So has the twenty five year old mom found a place to live yet?" Horatio asked with a lighter tone. I shot him a fake look of contempt.

"I have my own condo; it's close to yours, but not too close. It has enough space for both me and Abbey. You don't have to worry about it we'll be fine." I said honestly. Horatio got on well with Abbey, he was an open and disciplined man in her life. It was good for her to have him around every so often. Horatio grinned, acknowledgment shined in his face. I stood up as he did.

"I know you will, if you need any help…" he said as he stepped around the desk. He moved towards the filing cabinet replacing the report her had been reading. He turned back to face me, and then twisted his head as something caught his eye. He crouched down, picking up something small and white. My heart froze as he held it up for me to see. I felt heat creep up my face quickly. Horatio was holding a tampon.

"I guess this is yours?" he asked with a small smile. I bit my lip and nodded. He moved to the bin and dropped it in there.  
"My bag…tipped out." I told him as he guided me towards the direction of the door with him nodding.

"You'll be sharing the trace lab with Speed." Horatio spoke changing the subject again. I was grateful. I walked through the door as he held it open.

"I'll take you to the break room and introduce you to the others. Does Eric know you're here yet?" Horatio asked me as we walked down the corridor, matching steps. I shook my head.

"No. I wanted to keep it as a surprise." I told him, keeping my head bowed. He grabbed my arm gently stopping for a second in the corridor. I watched him tiredly as he put his hands on his hips and stared down the corridor at people walking up and down.

"You're running." He told me. I stared at him in the eyes.

"It won't affect my work." I reassured him. He sighed and looked away, we continued walking.

"When are you going to learn that things catch up with you?" he asked me as we reached the break room.

"I will when you will." I said simply as he opened the door.


	2. Chapter 2: Hiding The Past

Chapter Two

The break room was a small office like room, the cold air in it gave me goose bumps as I followed Horatio through the door. A few couches lined the back of the room; a table was dotted in the middle, several chairs paraded around it. A kettle, a mini fridge and a coffee machine littered the work surface, close to a simple sink. There was only one person in the room, but from the flock of short dark hair I saw, and lightly tanned skin I knew it was Eric. He stood up and walked towards me, his face shifting into a broad smile as he realized it was me.

"Eva Black? What are you doing here?" he said, not giving me a chance to answer I found myself being hoisted into his arms gently, they engulfed me, bringing back happy safe memories. I took in the familiar scent of him through my nostrils before pulling back. Eric had always been a comfort zone for me. It was reassuring to find him here, and not be afraid to show emotion towards me. He took a step back, in what I took as to get a better look at me.

"How are you?" he asked, his dark eyes trying to read mine. I bowed my head feeling some of my black hair escape from its clip fall across my face; I gave him a small smile.

"I'm fine." I told him honestly. Now that I was back here, I kind of felt like this was the place I was supposed to be. In a few weeks Abbey would be here and everything would be fine. I could have a second shot at life. I was relishing that thought already. Eric was still beaming from eye to eye; I'd never seen someone who'd been so happy to see me. It made me feel loved.

"What are you doing here? I thought your vacation time wasn't for another few months yet." he told me, picking up his coffee mug from the table and sipping it. I caught the sweet smell of Eric's trade mark brand and inhaled deeply. I loved the smell, but I hated the taste. Eric had tried to convert me while he was over in Liverpool with Horatio; unfortunately the taste was too sharp for my liking.

"I'm working here now." I said gingerly. I saw his eyes go wide and then his eye brows furrow into a deep frown. I watched as he set his mug down on the table with a loud clatter.

"What?" he spoke that one word, unsure of what he was hearing. I stopped myself from biting my lip. I'd had some inclination this was going to happen. What had I expected? Of course they were going to be alarmed I'd suddenly picked up and taken the job offer, they hadn't been around the last few months, and they didn't know what had happened in Liverpool during the time in which they had been gone.

"Eva's moved here to Miami, into a condo. She's left Abbey with Mark for a few weeks until she's settled in here." Horatio broke in, answering for me. The tone of his voice was concerning. It expressed the need for me to in from him why I had acted so quickly in moving here, instead of taking my time and establishing some form of easy passage through them both. In short I was aware that they were both hurt that I had acted without telling them, yet they didn't understand I hadn't really had the time to react at all. I'd forgotten Horatio was here through all the excitement of seeing Eric again. I stepped away from them both. Eric's arms were crossed over his chest and Horatio's hands were on his hips. Eric's eyes were on mine, narrowing suspiciously, I averted my gaze to the floor, as I leaned against the table top.

"Since when were you talking to Mark again?" Eric asked me quietly, I could feel the intensity of his gaze on my face.

"I needed someone to look after Abbey whilst I moved here. My mother is sick, she had a stroke a few weeks ago, my Dad's doing his best to look after her, and he couldn't cope with both Abbey and her." Even to my ears it sounded like an excuse, yet it was true. Mark had been the last person who could have possibly looked after Abbey, and kept her safe, well unknowingly. The look in Eric's eyes told me he knew there was more to this story than I was letting on, but I didn't care to indulge him. He tried another question.

"I thought you were happy in Liverpool." I met his eyes this time, his gaze demanding. I was not in the mood to deal with this right now.

"Can we talk about this later?" I pleaded. Horatio's eyes were on me also. Eric let out a sigh and unfolded his arms. Horatio looked down at the floor and then into the distance peering into the lab through the clear windows of the break room.

"I have plans later on." He said looking thoughtful. I nodded in response. I could take a guess at what they were already. Horatio had been seeing Eric's sister Marisol for a while now, although Eric didn't know I don't think he really would of minded so long as they were both happy. Yet it wasn't me that was going to tell him, it was something Horatio and Marisol had to work out on their own. I'd met Marisol once. She was everything I imagined her to be. She was stunningly beautiful, with an iron will to live and a strength that was beyond her years. I'd never met anyone like her. She had a thirst for life. Eric had told me in his last visit, that she had cancer. They didn't know how long she had left and that he was trying to make it as easy as possible for her.

"The Cuban restaurant, after work." Eric told me, it wasn't a question, it was an order. He didn't like being cut out of my life, and unfortunately I did need someone to talk to about this whole mess. Yet I wasn't sure whether I should, it was all in the past now, but saying that old fears died hard.

"Of course." I told him, my head bowed slightly. Horatio moved over to the coffee machine behind me. I lifted my head up to see Eric staring at me with a serious troubled look. I knew I was like a little sister to him. I also knew it was grating on him that I hadn't told him I was moving. He picked his mug up and took another sip from it, his eyes still on me, sighing. I knew he was hurt but he was putting it behind him until tonight. I cringed mentally imagining the scene he could cause in the restaurant.

"Who are you working with?" Eric asked changing the subject and taking another sip from his mug. I let out a long breath I didn't realize I'd been holding, things were getting back to normal now. I hadn't realized how uptight I'd felt. I shrugged as Horatio answered for me again.

"She's working the trace lab with Speed. She knows her way around there." He told Eric over my head. I turned slightly scowling at him playfully. He pushed a cup of tea into my hands, the drawstring teabag still floating placidly in there. I thanked him softly. What Horatio meant was when Speedle was shot in the jewellery store shooting, they had been a C.S.I short, and things had gotten worse when Calleigh went on leave due to the suicide of John Hagen. Speed had still been off due to problems with his shoulder, something to do with the muscle hadn't healed entirely and it would affect his work direly if he came back. Anyway two C.S.I's short Horatio Caine had called me asking me to fill in for the trace lab for a while. I'd already been in Washington tackling a cross jurisdiction case in they had with the U.K. I helped out gratefully in my area of expertise, which just so happened to be trace analyse, until Speed returned, then I caught a flight home to the U.K and continued my work there. I'd solved quite a few cases while I was here, which also brought about rumours of me being Speed's "replacement" if he wasn't up to the job. This wasn't true; all I'd ever been was temporary help for the Miami Dade Crime Lab. Right now I was looking to be something a bit more permanent. Horatio had offered me a job when we worked together a case involving a serial killer back in Liverpool. He'd seen my skills in two different environments and forged a friendship with me, knowing I could be trusted. I guess he didn't realize how soon his offer would be taken up. Eric touched my arm gently, knocking me out of my thoughts. I guess I'd been staring off into space somewhere.

"I'm sorry." He murmured. I turned to him momentarily confused. What did he have to be sorry for?

"I'm just surprised to see you here. You're looking better than you did last time I was in Liverpool." I pushed away the memories of why I hadn't looked so good in Liverpool, I didn't want to remember it, hell I didn't want Eric to remember it. Eric had been frequenting to Liverpool in his vacation time. He was a great guy, he cared a lot for Abbey and he was a fun friend to have around. Gradually we'd been learning a lot about each other, I was glad for that. I wanted to change the subject, looking for something light hearted to talk about I opened my mouth to speak.

"So what's Speedle like to work with?" I asked, removing the tea bag from my cup and dumping it into the bin. Eric let out a small laugh, things felt better now.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Eric offered. I raised an eyebrow at this, then took a gulp of my tea.

"That bad?" I asked curious. I'd never met Speedle, but I had heard some stuff about him, yet not enough to form an opinion.

"As Eric said wait and see for yourself." Horatio told me opening the door to the break room.

"Now if you excuse me, ladies and gentleman, I have a few things I need to attend to." He left without another word through the break room door as a tall, lean man stepped through the door. Tim Speedle was rough and unshaven giving him what seemed like a dangerous edge. His dark eyes flickered up towards me, and then past me to Eric who was still standing rather close to the right of me. He gave off a cocky and arrogant appeal. In his hand he held a drinking bottle, he moved towards the sink before calling over to either me or Eric.

"New lab tech?" I felt my blood boil as he turned his back dismissively. His bottle was now full, and as I turned towards him he was gulping from it. I crossed my arms over my chest before replying.

"Actually I'm your new roommate in the Trace Lab." I watched as Speedle paused, his eyes wide open as he tore the bottle from his mouth spluttering. His cough danced around the room for a second. I glanced at Eric, whom had an amused look upon his face. I gazed back at Speedle pointedly, waiting for him to introduce himself. Men like him brought out the worst in me. I noticed his water bottle was tightly clenched in his fist. I eyed it with thought. Maybe I'd made a mistake here. A test of egos wasn't a great idea on your first day. Speedle looked to Eric.

"Delko?" he asked in a low voice. I couldn't read what was in his voice. By the looks of things Eric was going to try and somethings over between us starting with Speedle.

"Tim Speedle meet Eva Black." Eric said calmly. For a moment there was silence, slowly Tim's eyes rose to meet mine. They were raging. His jaw clenched tightly, and then in the silence of the room I heard him exhale deeply. His features were now marred by the dark frown on his forehead. Apparently Tim Speedle had heard the rumours about me. I opened my mouth. I wanted to say something to correct what I had done. The truth be told I wasn't even sure what I was going to say because at that moment in time Speedle chose to storm straight past me and out of the break room door.


	3. Chapter 3: Waging War

Chapter Three

We'd been sitting on opposite ends of the trace lab for several hours now. Speedle on his side of the bench and me on mine, every so often I found myself glancing up at him as he peered deeply into the microscope. Vaguely I wondered how long he could go on ignoring me for. There was only so much I could take. The lab itself was sound proof, but surrounded in glass. For a second I was debating throwing my microscope at the awkward bastard, and then I decided against it, deciding it would probably get me fired. I settled for scrunching up a piece of paper instead, I was only going to use it in extreme prejudice. Say if he really pissed me off. I already knew why he was being like this. I'd tried to set things straight with him when I'd first entered the lab, but he's picked up those headphones of his and covered his ears with them, and turned the volume up on his stereo which he kept plugged in to the lab.

After two hours of this, I felt like I was starting to go slightly mad. Not even my three year old daughter had managed to me ignore me this much. I'd been staring at my microscope for the past hour trying to discover a solution to this and so far I had nothing. Alright I didn't have nothing, I had something but then again it wasn't very adult, saying that Tim Speedle wasn't exactly being very adult. Knowing that Speedle wasn't probably wasn't going to be looking up anytime soon. I diverted my attention to find where the extension lead that Speed had to use was plugged into. Following the wire out my line of sight I moved off my stool until it came to a plug socket behind me. Standing up I wrapped my hand around the wire and pulled, dragging the plug out the socket. I heard the music suddenly cut off as Tim looked up catching me with the plug in my hand swinging it with what he probably thought was glee.

"Are you going to talk to me now?" I asked him, dropping the plug to ground as I stepped forward returning to my stool. I watched as Speedle tore the headphones off his head and threw them down on the desk top. He looked up meeting my eyes with renewed anger.

"Plug the stereo back in." he demanded in a low tone. I shook my head.

"Not until you talk to me." I told him, crossing my arms over my chest unfazed. Speedle ran a hand through his thick, curly mass of hair.

"Plug the stereo in, Eva" he said quietly standing up and leaning over the desk at me. His attempt at intimidation wasn't the least bit frightening to me. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"No" I said simply, leaning back. Speedle growled at me his teeth grinding against each other.

"Stop acting like a fucking child." He murmured through his teeth. Rage rattled through me. His eyes were glaring intently into mine. I jumped to my feet.

"Me? You're the one who's sat their acting like a damn child ignoring me. You know what? My three year old daughter acts more mature than you do." I snapped at him, my face close to his. For a second Speedle stopped and stared at me.

"Your three year old daughter acts more mature than me? Wow brilliant answer single mom, I'll you what when you grow up we'll talk more about your ability to work in Trace Lab." Speedle spoke with hand gestures, then crossing his arms over his chest, leaning back. I wanted to slap the stupid smirk off his dumb face. I felt the paper ball clench in my hand.

"You know what Tim, sarcasm and ignorance are traits all women want in a man." I told him angrily.

"I can't believe your friendship group hasn't expanded beyond the lab, your personality is just screaming fun." I heard myself yelling at him now. Speedle's mouth dropped open.

"Did you sleep with Horatio to get this position?" He retaliated. I couldn't believe he was stooping this low. By the look on his face neither could he. There was a small silence.

"I didn't, did you?" I replied clenching my jaw, I watched as the paper ball bounced off his head. He stared at me in shock.

"Real fucking mature." He said, scrunching a piece of lined paper in front of him. I ducked behind the desk as he hurled it. It glanced off the side of my head as I went down.

"Just be grateful it wasn't the microscope." I shouted back at him reaching for the ball in front of me. That son of a bitch was going down. Another ball landed in next to me as I peered over the desk to locate his position. I could see biro writing through the paper, I opened it reading the words.

"_I will not be thrown out of my own trace lab by a rookie." _Fury ran threw my as I took the pen I had out of my pocket and scribbled my own message. Grabbing a few unused swabs I had in my pocket.

"_Rookie? You're barely older than me. I was top of my position at home."_ I threw it back at him along with the unused swabs. I giggled at his yelp of surprise. I also didn't fail to notice he was also hiding out behind his own side of the workbench. Another piece of paper hit the floor beside me. I unravelled it to see what he had written.

"_Your not at home. Wasn't the swabs a bit too much? You know with me being just older than you and us both supposedly adults."_ The message was simple and a matter of fact. It also hit me along with his second paper ball.

"I'm not after your lab you know?" I called over the bench, peeking over it slightly. I saw the mop of brown hair before I saw his dark eyes analysing mine.

"I'm not replacing you either. Look I'm coming out with my hands up alright?" I said to him, standing up slowly as he did. We were both unarmed. His were crossed over his chest again and mine were raised.

"You wanna talk like adults now?" he asked me pointedly.

"You started it." I retorted. He rolled his eyes.

"Back to this?" he asked frowning. I slid back onto my stool.

"No not back to this… Look I'm not replacing you. Horatio offered me a job here months ago because he saw I knew how to work a crime scene. My talents were wasted at my job in England." I told him my eyes remaining on his face analysing the edges of it. He was quite handsome when he wasn't acting like a hormonal teenager. Speedle simply looked back. I took this as a cue to continue talking.

"I really am not here to take your job. I was temporary while you were off with your shoulder wound, and my feeling is that that started up some crazy rumours about me being your replacement. I helped out when Horatio was a man short and that was it. I ended up in Trace because like you it's my speciality." I told him. Speed sighed and sat down across from me.

"Will you plug my stereo back in now?" he asked me dryly. I stared at him; the words seemed out of context. Here I was reassuring him of his job and he was asking me a really dumb question.

"Are you gonna talk to me from now on?" I asked picking up the plug and swinging it in my hand. There was no way I was gonna let him have it back the way he was going. I considering taking it off him and confiscating it to my rucksack.

"Have you stopped acting like a child now?" he replied staring back into the microscope. I bowed my head. I guessed I deserved that. Overall I could have broken the news of him having a lab buddy to him a little bit better.

"I'm sorry." I said openly as I tried to catch his eye. He raised his head in my direction.

"For making the lab a mess?" he asked with a small small, looking I guessed at the scattered remnants of our war on each other. I grinned shaking my head.

"No… I found that entertaining. I was thinking more along the line of saying all those horrible things to you." Speedle opened his mouth to speak. I interrupted.

"And yes I'll plug the stereo back in."


	4. Chapter 4: Confessing

A.N: This chapter is rated Mature, contains themes of rape and violence. 

Chapter Four  


The Cuban restaurant we were sitting in was one that Eric had taken me to before on one of my less recent trips over here. It felt personal; its homely settings made me feel comfortable and relaxed. I let out a deep sigh. It had been a long day, even though me and Speedle had forged some form of working basis, we'd been stuck in the trace lab going over back dated evidence. We were both a little cranky by the time I left; Tim had to stay in order to clean up.

I looked around the restaurant searching for some form of escape. Eric was sitting right across from me studying his menu thoughtfully. I really didn't want to have this conversation, although I knew it was long over due. Peering over my menu I was aware that Eric had changed his clothes since the lab. He was now wearing a pastel green wool sweater that went well with his faded jeans; I guessed he'd kept in his locker. I however felt dirty still clad in my in my previous day attire.

"I wish you'd of let me go home and changed at least." I mumbled, letting my eyes glide down the menu, I already knew what I was ordering; I realized I was doing it for distraction. Eric's eyes crept up to my face slowly.

"And let you skip dinner and avoid talking to me for the next few years of our lives?" he shook his head for empathise.

"No way."

I glanced up rolling my eyes at him. He was right of course. I would of some all those things. We ordered our food and drinks, paying the bill at the same time; we then sat in an awkward silence for a second. Well I did. Eric's eyes were intent on me and I writhed under the gaze of them. He wanted me to begin the conversation, I crossed my arms unbidden.

"I heard you had some conflict in the Trace Lab today with Speed." Eric commented when our drinks arrived. I sipped my glass of red wine tentatively, staring at it swirling around the inside of my glass.

"Did he tell you that?" I asked looking up to see Eric grinning at me.

"He didn't need to." He said sipping his beer. I gave him a quizzical look. He continued.

"I saw the mess he was cleaning after you'd left; he mentioned something about a paper ball, and the stereo." I found myself burst into laughter.

"He started it." I giggled, calming myself. I turned suddenly serious to him.

"We flipped for the mess though, it turns out Speed's a bad loser." I told him, remembering that I hadn't exactly left the labs unscathed. On the way out he'd chucked a stack of paper towels at me as I turned to tell him his fly was down on his return from the bathroom. Then on the way to the restaurant I was finding balls of paper and the swabs that had previously been launched at his head in my rucksack. The way I see it Mr Speedle deserved to get some payback tomorrow. I was considering water bombs, but that would make the trace lab a mess and destroy the evidence we were analysing. So in the long run was probably a bad move. I'd figure out something else.

I'd been so surprised to hear him laugh as those paper towels hit me. It was a husky rich sound, his first sign of warmth towards me. His laugh made me smile and for a brief second we'd shared a moment of understanding, before he turned towards the microscope again.

"He is." Eric's voice snapped me out of my reverie. I fiddled with the stem of my glass for a few minutes, dreading the next words that were going to come out of his mouth.

"So Eva…" Eric began with a small smile. I stared at my napkin.

"What happened?" I turned my head away, pretending to be interested in the decor.

"I really like the…" I pointed at the archway over the door. I felt Eric's hand clasp mine gently over the table. Surprised I turned my head toward ours hands staring at him

"Eva…Is it something to do with what happened the last time I was there?" he asked me tenderly. His gaze met mine, the same demanding one from before. I faltered under it, pushing my last bit of resistance forward.

"A lot of things happened when you were there." I told him, my voice low, my fingers curling around his. God damn it Eric, make me stop remembering. Make me forget you were there. I begged silently. That way we could make it so it had never happened. If I was just on my own I could pretend that it had all been some freakishly bad nightmare, in other words it wouldn't exist in my reality. Eric gripped my hand tightly breaking me out of my thoughts.

"You're not on your own, you know?" he spoke openly. I wasn't entirely sure what he meant by the statement, I felt alone. I felt like this was my fault, my responsibility. When I said nothing he continued.

"What Blake did to you…he was an animal…but he's locked away in a high security prison, he can't get to you." I took a deep breath as he spoke, turning my head away. Eric took this as denial.

"Eric…" I murmured, frustrated.

"I know you feel responsible for the two girls he killed, but it really wasn't you fault, and you have to see it." He persisted cutting me off when I said his name again.

"Believe me I know what's like to feel responsible." He said reassuringly, patting my hand and I stared at it.

"Eric?" I whispered, his beautiful eyes met mine as I leaned over, swallowing hard. His attention was focused solely on me.

"Blake's not in prison anymore. His trial never made it to court." I may as well of shouted the words, it had the same effect when I had murmured; I was surprised by my own emotion filled voice. My eyes never left Eric's as I leaned back in my chair, choking on the raising sobs that were forcing their way into my throat. Eric's face was the definition of disbelief.

"What?" he said shaking his head, refusing to believe what I'd said. He pulled his hands away as the waitress set own the food we'd ordered in front of us. He ignored her, his eyes still on me. I didn't feel hungry anymore and I guess neither did Eric. I bit my lip, feeling the pain there, caused a distraction forcing away the overwhelming memories that were surging through me. They were things I never ever wanted to see, hear, think, and feel again. Tears were threatening to spill out of my eyes; I forced myself to look out of the dark window next to me. I opened my mouth to find myself talking before I realized it myself.

"The evidence was found to be contaminated by something. Ammonia… someone threw ammonia on the whole lot, while it was waiting to be processed. The lab was backlogged and the case had to be transferred because I couldn't pursue it anymore. The whole set was contaminated in transportation." This was the worst confession I ever had to make. It was hurting both of us, but now I'd started I couldn't stop. I took a deep breathy grounding myself. I found myself with slightly renewed strength.

"Blake's out, the word on the street is that he's making this personal, I'm the one that got away." I confessed to Eric who still remained speechless. He didn't know what to say. Studying his face I became aware of the fact he hadn't even began to process the information I was telling him. My eyes moved to the plate in front of me. I picked up my fork and shifted the food around my plate a little, feeling guilty for forcing the chef to cook something I wasn't going to eat. The conversation left a bad taste in my mouth and a nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"But he raped you." Eric's voice was child like. I looked up, closing my eyes at seeing the pain in his. Alike me, he was questioning the faith he had in the justice system we worked so fiercely hard to protect and uphold. I let my eyes rest on his plate in front of me; I bit the inside of my mouth saying nothing. Did he honestly think I could forget that? The memories of Blake's hands all over me haunted my dreams and every night I slept I woke up in a cold sweat thinking the bastard was in my house again, this time after Abbey and not me. I said nothing; there was no way to reassure Eric as there was no way to reassure myself. I found myself staring at Eric as his voice grew above the whisper it had previously been at.

"But he raped and beat you." He said louder, to me. I saw fury rise in his eyes as he stood up knocking the chair onto the floor behind him as he stormed out the door into the night. A thousand eyes were on me. I made no excuses, I didn't care. I grabbed my bag and followed the path Eric had taken out of the restaurant.

A million thoughts rattled through my head, I should have taken him home, and I shouldn't have told him. But where was the time for that. He had badgered me into doing so. For a few seconds I was concerned. What if I couldn't find him? What of he did something stupid? I rounded the corner away from the restaurant into the parking lot, searching for any sign of Eric by our respective cars. I watched as he drew back his fist, letting it connect solidly with the wall, whilst making a harsh animalistic sound I took to be rage. I turned away for a second, disgusted in myself. I'd been happy that someone else was feeling the same pain as I was. All the time I had to sit there restrained, acting as if it didn't bother me that the guy who fucking raped me and beat me within an inch of my own life was walking round free, planning his next move on me.

Eric had been there when I'd stumbled back home, clothes torn, covered in blood and the bastard's semen. It had been him who'd called the police and the ambulance. Eric had held my hand while the nurses had run the rape kit me. He'd held me for nights after, while I cried myself to sleep. He'd looked after Abbey, on the mornings I felt like I couldn't face the world, and then coaxed me out of bed, helping repair me mentally and physically. Eric restored my faith back in men, he'd taken care of my daughter and I felt I owed him a lot. He'd also showed me the true meaning of a family. That's why I felt the need to get in between him and the brick wall. I couldn't see him hurt further. As he drew his fist back to hit the wall again, I grabbed hold of his arm, yanking it backwards as he tried to throw it forward.

"Eric…Please stop." I cried out keeping hold of his arm and not letting go. My grasp tightened as he turned his head tome, sticking out his other hand and leaning against the wall taking deep breaths. He bowed his head forward, his breath sounded rasping. It took me a few minutes to realize he was talking. I could barely make out his mouth moving in the dark.

"Some nights I think about you and Abbey, wondering what your doing, how your doing. I think how brave you are for testifying and getting on with your life after something so horrific happened to you. I can still see you, you know? Lying in that hospital bed unconscious bruises all over your face and body, I used to wonder how someone could come back from all that? The guy brutalised you, and six months later your standing in front of me the way you were before it all." He shook his head. "I don't understand."

"I've only come this far because you helped me Eric." I held his hand tightly. He was still leaning against the wall. I couldn't see his face.

"Your one of the reasons I decided to move to Miami, you make me feel like I have family here. I think this is somewhere I'd like to settle down with Abbey. Away from everything that happened back in Liverpool. I can't and won't stay there anymore." I admitted to him. He lifted his head up towards me, his eyes glistening a little. My brave, strong brother Eric was crying for me. In all the times he'd been there for me, he'd been supportive and strong, never once did he show any sign of weakness. I felt like crying. Eric was one of the things that kept me going after the rape, along with Abbey. I'd already decided I was going to do everything in my power to make a happy life for me and Abbey here in Miami. Eric straightened up to face me rubbing his face with his hands.

"What are we going to do?" he asked. The question surprised me as did the cold breeze that hit me. I shrugged my shoulders.

"What can we do? All we can do is keep on going. Catch the bad guys and go home at the end of the day." I told him, knowing that wasn't the question he was asking. It was true though at the end of the day nobody could do anything to make up for what Blake Marriott had done to me or any of the other people's lives he tainted.

"Does Mark know about what happened?" Eric asked he walked me back to my car. I didn't mind him doing it, if it made him feel better. I hated the scene we'd made at the restaurant, but I was just glad we'd paid the bill before hand, or that would be something else on my guilty conscience. I shook my head at Eric's question.

"All he knows is that Abbey is moving to Miami with me, he put up a bit of a fight about it, but I pointed out it would be a cool holiday should he want to come visit." Eric grinned at my tactic. Mark was like a little kid, you had to promise him something good to get what you wanted out of him.

"Do you think he will?" Eric stopped and leaned against my car as we talked.

"Not really. I don't mind though, Horatio acts more like a father than Mark would anyway." I confessed. However it was true, Horatio gave Abbey the kind of father figure I'd always imagined for her.

"You attracted to H?" Eric asked jokily.

"Are you?" I retorted punching him in the arm. He grabbed it in playful pain.

"Getting more violent in your old age?" He remarked rubbing his arm.

"Hey I'm the same age as you. Anyway Uncle Eric spoils Abbey rotten. Horatio's the counter balance." I told him, remembering how Abbey had begun to demand I make her pancakes for breakfast every morning as Uncle Eric had. Her quiet voice attempting to wrestle with me brought a smile to those long sad mornings.

"She's now a Latino fan. You've turned my daughter into you." I told him dramatically. He rolled his eyes as I glared at him.

"You like the influence I have on her otherwise she'd be too much like you, and who know what trouble that would cause." He laughed. I let out a deep breath of relief, everything was alright between us. I was going to get through this.

"Look Eric I got to go, it's late and I have to ring Abbey when I get in." I told Eric unlocking my car door. He held it while I stepped in, discreetly checking the back.

I leaned over and hugged him as reached for the seat belt.

"Thanks for everything tonight Eric. I owe you." He shook his head as I pulled back.

"You owe me nothing." He told me waving as he closed the door. I sighed pulling out the parking lot. He was wrong of course. I owed him my life, without Eric I wouldn't be here starting my new life. I drove home carefully to my lonely condo to phone Abbey, it was after her bath time. She'd be getting worried.


	5. Chapter 5: Letting Go

AN: This chapter is also rated Mature as it contains some reference of rape.

Chapter Five

I felt wrecked upon trailing into work a few days. I'd tried ringing Abbey when I got home but got no answer at Mark's house. I guess he'd obviously taken her to a late show or something. I'd tried ringing this morning too and the same happened. Well maybe they'd gone to school early, sometimes Mark's job started earlier than he expected it to, but it was damn mean of him not to tell me what was going on. I spent last night running through worst case scenarios of why they wouldn't have answered the phone and trust me it was a bad thing to think at three in the morning.

Yet I felt a lot better after talking to Eric last night, at least someone else knew, he was someone I could talk to and vent on when things got bad. In the back of my mind behind the paranoia about Abbey how he was feeling was cropping up prominently. I pushed all thoughts away and decided to focus on work. I could ring Mark later and see what was going on. I rolled my eyes inwardly as I dropped my bag into my locker. I bet Mark was spoiling her right now. Sighing I moved towards the Trace Lab to deal with the last batch of catch up evidence, and opened the door to find Tim Speedle sitting there just as he was last night when I left him. I felt myself feel a little gob smacked by the look of him just sitting there leaning over the microscope. I thought I'd come in early.

"Do you live here?" I asked him closing the door behind me and slipping on my white lab coat. He looked up as if seeing me for the first time. I guess sharing the Trace Lab was a new thing for him still. He turned back to the microscope and pulled out two slides setting them aside.

"Rough night?" he chuckled snidely as I plonked down at my desk across from him.

"Look whose talking. I hear the scruff look is in these days." I snapped taking a good hard look at him. His unshaven face was growing more stubble by the minute. His hair even more unkempt than usual, I secretly fantasised about running a hair brush through it to see what it looked like. I debated buying him a razor for Christmas. At least he'd changed his clothes. He raised his head at me and stared as I started setting out the samples I was studying yesterday.

"Look, I'm not here to fight with you if don't mind can we get back to our jobs like we're supposed to be doing." Speed asked. He was standing straight now, looking directly into my face. Here was Tim, the sarcastic, ever confrontational member of the group.

"You put paper towels and swabs in my bag." I spoke accusingly, beginning to write up a report on my findings. Speedle said nothing, as he too began to write a report.

The lab was filled by silence for a few minutes. Vaguely I was wondering why the stereo wasn't on whilst Speed worked. I snuck another look at him. His dark blue shirt was buttoned down so I could just see a small expanse of chest. I shifted with unease after realizing I had noticed it.

"What's your daughter look like?" The question was sudden and broke through my train of thought. I found Tim looking up at me; I was mortally surprised he was taking a small interest in me.

"Erm… Obviously pretty small, she has curly blond ringlets, pale, with my blue eyes. She likes pretty things like dresses and ponies." I saw him staring beyond me. I waved a hand in front of his face annoyed. Why ask me a question if you not going to listen to the answer? As his gaze landed on my face I turned slightly towards the window.

"I think she's in reception." He said as my eyes scanned along the people there.

"No she can't be…" I murmured absentmindedly.

A tiny blond creature with beautiful angelic curls stood looking curiously around the room. Puzzled by the association between Liverpool and Miami that was not forming in my head I followed her hand to see who was holding it. Mark stood next to our daughter, talking animatedly at Paula who was holding fort at reception. Now I knew why Mark hadn't been picking up the phone. He'd been on a plane over here.

Fury rushed through me as I set my apparatus down on the counter. He'd forgotten to mention this. I couldn't even begin to fathom why Mark was here. Obviously Abbey was ok, and here in Miami, which wasn't supposed to happen for a few weeks. I stood up slowly, anger pulsating through me.

"Eva?" I turned to Speed, fists clenched. I think for a second he saw the confusion in eyes.

"I'll finish up the samples here." He told me. I knew he was being generous; he was giving me a little leeway to sort out this problem.

"Remember after that we're on call out." he reminded me as I slipped out of the door.

"Thanks." I muttered gratefully, suddenly feeling bad about the "scruff" remark earlier.

"Mommy." Abbey's cry was pleasant and music to my ears, I crouched down as she ran towards me. Her little grasp around me tightened as I swung her up into a sitting position in my arms.

"And how's my beautiful girl?" I asked looking into her soft oceanic eyes. Abbey buried her face in my neck. Her soft breath felt happy and familiar. I held her tightly.

"I missed you mommy." She whispered into my ear. My heart broke as she said it.

"I missed you too Abbey." It was all I could tell her with out breaking down and crying. I meant it bitterly. Taking a deep breath I put Abbey down and held her hand tightly as I moved towards Mark, who appeared to be inching backwards away from me. I stood in front of him, raising an eyebrow. He stared at me with his vibrant eyes defiant.

"You didn't tell me you were coming here." I spoke in a low voice so Abbey couldn't hear what I was saying.

"There's a few things you haven't been telling me isn't there Eva?" I looked at him shocked. How could Mark know? What did Mark now?

"There a problem here sugar?" I turned slightly towards the placid voice of Alexx Woods, who was glaring at Mark with her arms folded. Alexx had quickly adopted me over the few days I'd been here. We'd met after I'd come down to the morgue in order to collect evidence from her. Over the course of several lunches we'd swapped war stories about our kids and she'd come to fill the place my own mother had once held in my life. The woman worked wonders.

"Alexx would you mind keeping an eye on Abbey while me and Mark have a chat please?" I sounded weary, my eyes returned to Mark, and then to Abbey.

"Of course, sugar." Was Alexx's reply, I was mortally grateful to the woman.

I crouched down to face her, smoothing her hair away from her face. She looked at me a little sullen.

"Mommy has got to talk to Daddy for a few minutes. Meanwhile Alexx is going to take you back to her office and show you some really cool stuff." Which I hope didn't entail dead bodies. I knew Alexx was responsible enough not to show that kind of stuff to Abbey. I was being slightly paranoid again. I stood up letting Alexx take Abbey's hand, I watched as they walked down the corridor, hopefully to Alexx's office.

"Does Uncle Delko work here?" I heard Abbey chatter at Alexx.

I turned to face Mark, not hearing the answer. I grabbed his arm and tugged him into a quiet part of the corridor seething.

"What the hell are you playing at bringing her to my work like that, and not telling me you were bringing her into the country? I haven't even sorted out a babysitter yet." I snarled at him, leaning my back against the wall. Mark looked oddly subdued, as if he was justified. I wanted to wipe that look right off his stupid face.

"Well hello Eva and nice to see you too." He folded his arms over his chest. I felt like getting my gun out and shooting him right there.

"What are you doing here Mark?" I asked frustrated, everything was a fucking chore with him. Mark at least had the decency to look at the floor while he spoke.

"I can't see Abbey anymore." He said, scuffing the floor with my shoes. Although I'd partially expected this my jaw still dropped.

"I'm getting married in a few weeks time I wants to start afresh." I stared at him; feeling the earth shift beneath me slightly. A few weeks ago he'd try to reconcile with me and now he was suddenly getting married. Choked I began to talk.

"So you're going to leave our daughter with out a father?" I spat. Mark's eyes met mine with renewed fury.

"It seems you've already got a few back ups. All she went on about while she was at mine was Uncle Delko, and how cool he was. Who the fuck is Delko?" Mark's voice was loud now. I stared at him.

"Delko was…is a guy who looked after me and our daughter when I was sick." I answered quietly.

"He's a close friend of mine." I confessed to Mark, who stared in disbelief.

"Close enough to make her pancakes in the morning?" I cringed as he brought his face close to mine, and at what he was implying. I felt myself recoil, several very bad images slipped into my mind. His face was inches from mine now, his heated breath on my face.

"Tell me does he know your damaged goods?" Mark hissed at me. It kept ever inch of self discipline to stop me from lashing out at him.

"I didn't know that you did." I spoke calmly not flinching under the disgusted look in Mark's eyes; I would break down in front of him, although every single emotion in me was screaming to. Images of the rape were rushing through my mind. Mark had never been violent to me yet his body language was threatening, sending my mind into turmoil. I was fighting to keep calm.

"Things get around a lot where I live." So someone told him. The guy was probably screwing someone in my old department. He pulled back away from me, as I hugged my arms around myself, refusing to look at him.

"I don't want any contact from you or Abbey." He said turning on his heel he walked away from me.

"Oh yea Eva…" he called. "I hope Abbey has a better chance at life, than you will. Let's hope Blake takes pity on the kid."

Then he was out the door it was as if he hadn't been here. I was rubbing my eyes as the tears seeped out, I couldn't do this not here, I was too close to the waiting room. I moved down the corridor quickly to the locker room. Once there I reached I broke down, every fear, every emotion I felt came to head in one moment of weakness. I found myself sliding down the cold faces of the lockers and coming to rest on the bare floor. I attempted to keep everything inside myself but at the end of it, the result was the same. I broke.

Tears ran down my face, broken sobs echoing alone around the room. I was losing my control on everything, I was trying desperately to grip onto something to keep me in reality, but there was nothing to hold me steady whilst it all hit me. Guilt wracked me at the thought of Abbey. What had I done? Had I signed her death warrant, by staying alive? If I hadn't fought so hard Blake would have killed me, and then she'd be an orphan. A safe orphan though.

I covered my face with my hands. Abbey didn't have a father anymore. Ever since she was born I was persistent with the idea she didn't need one. How was I going to explain to her that the Daddy she had just met didn't want her anymore? Me coming to Miami had given Mark a better reason to alienate Abbey? Why couldn't I have just stayed in Liverpool? I already knew why I couldn't have stayed in Liverpool. The memories of Blake, working his case, meeting him for the first time, being raped by him, were prominent there; the memories were the only thing in my life that was constant. Even now as I could feel him there inside me, him tearing my hair back away from my face exposing my throat. I felt the inability to struggle as his lips bit there making me scream in pain and rage. I heard his laughter as he jammed himself inside me. I heard myself begging for him to stop as he pinned me down against the gravel beneath me. He dragged my hair back away from my face by the roots, exposing my face, coming all over me. I could feel it now, the humiliation was there with me, along with the shame and anger it brought. I was trapped in this never ending nightmare, I was still broken, and Eric hadn't made me better at all. No one could. I felt a hand on my arm and let out a small cry, lashing out furiously against my attacker.

"No." I pleaded. "Please God…No" I scratched and pushed against strong arms that were trying to grab mine. It wasn't until the hands had stopped trying to touch me did I stop, burying my head in my arms and knees. I heard my own sobs bitterly cutting through the silence. I felt myself rock slightly, coming back to myself.

"Eva…it's me Tim…" It all came rushing back to me. I was in the C.S.I locker room. I was in Miami. I moved my bowed head slightly, looking up at his face. His dark chocolate eyes were warm and bright with concern. He was crouching leaning on his feet in front of me as I had done previously to Abbey. My eyes moved down slowly to wear the sleeves of his arms were rolled up. I groaned, seeing deep bloody scratches from where I'd attacked him. I didn't know what to say. How could I begin to explain or apologise for what I had done to him? I was frozen in shock and horror about what I had done. I felt sickened, our eyes met, he wouldn't forgive me for this.

"I'm sorry." Tim murmured. His hand reached out slowly, moving some of the hair that was plastered to my face from my own wet tears, behind one of my ears.

"I should have known better than to grab you like that." From the look on his face, he was angry at himself. He seemed compassionate and understanding. I wanted to believe in him and all the other men who I thought were good in the world, but I felt reluctance to move from my current position. I felt too vulnerable. I turned my head away from him, my wavy dark hair concealing my features; I couldn't stand to see the pity in Speedle's eyes. Tim's hand gently touched my chin, guiding my face back to his. I averted my eyes to the ground still bitterly ashamed.

"Eva… Please look at me." My felt his hands on either side of my face, cupping it softly. I knew by forcing me to focus my attention on him, was a ploy to help calm me down. I also knew how damn well it was working. I took a deep breath, as he stared into my eyes. Obviously assured that I was focused on him, he moved both his hands to just under my elbows. I felt his thumb caressing the skin there tenderly. It was soothing, it was so different to what I'd felt before. At the thought of this tears slid down my cheeks again. The contrast was too great. I liked Tim's touch, he made me feel delicate.

"Was it Mark?" he asked tentatively. I guess it was pretty obvious why I'd freaked out like that. Yet he never said that word to me. I shook my head slowly, whilst he held me steady.

"Who knows?" he asked quietly, he looked almost confused. Yet I know he was trying to comprehend what had happened and that he was actually here holding me steady.

"Eric… he was there when I came home." I told him. Tim nodded as if expecting this, pushing away the hair that now blocked my view of him. His hands worked kindly.

"Are you ready to stand up now?" Tim asked me. I was glad he wasn't trying to push me into telling him, he respected me in some way and my privacy.

"Yes." The sound of my own voice was tiny. I caught sight of the real state of Tim's arms as he helped me stand. Tears flooded back to me as I stared at his forearm. I'd shredded it, they weren't scratches, they were gorges. Tim followed my gaze to his arm.

"Eva they're just scratches they'll heal." He spoke quietly; his hands were now on my shoulders, massaging them gently.

"I'm sorry Tim." I spoke with honesty. I was sorry that he had to deal with it. I was definitely sorry I tore several chunks out of his arm and now I was even sorrier that I had hidden his fruit salad behind the coffee machine. I found myself wanting to tell him everything, I needed someone right now and Speedle was there in front of me, offering.

"Mark doesn't want Abbey anymore." I spat. "He thinks that it's my fault about what happened to me, he thinks that she's going to get hurt because of it."

Suddenly I was crying, and I wasn't sure why. Everything had happened too quickly in the last few days. All the emotions twisted and turned inside me, there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I felt Tim wrap his arms around me. I fell into his hold easily inhaling him deeply. He smelt clean, and pure, his skin seemed untainted by deodorants, just the pure scent of him. I felt him stroke my hair soothingly, as I pressed my face against him. Tim rested his cheek on the top of my head, his hand rubbing my back.

"It's ok. Everything's going to be ok Eva." Standing there in Tim's arms I felt safe, I felt like his strength was spreading, if I could just left everything that had happened to me go right now, then I could do this. Two realizations hit me at the same time. I could start a new life for me and Abbey. Abbey had father figures in her life; they just weren't of the traditional concept. With great men, like Horatio, Tim and Eric in her life she would grow up not regretting the fact she didn't have a father. The second thing I discovered were that there were two different types of men in the world, and no matter how much we fought, traded sarcastic remarks, or played childish tricks on one another Tim Speedle was always going to be up there as one of the good ones.


	6. Chapter 6: Falling Down

Chapter Six

I was drawing with Abbey in the break room on the main table when our pagers went off. Speedle's discarded fruit salad lay among the discarded pieces of paper across the cold surface area. Both of us looked up at the same time our eyes meeting in perfect understanding.

It was my first call out I couldn't miss it. Yet Abbey was sitting between us, we couldn't leave her to wonder the lab.

"Delko?" Tim mouthed as he picked up some of the blank paper on the other side of the table. I shook my head.

"Still out at that underwater recovery call could be there for a few more hours." I told him.

I was looking at Abbey lost. There was no way I could take her with me; I couldn't miss this call out. Unfortunately Alexx was swamped with bodies and Horatio was in a meeting over budgets for the crime lab.

"Calleigh?" Speedle's suggestion was a good one but I really didn't know Calleigh enough to ask her to look after my child whilst I was on a crime scene. Reason number two was the fact Calleigh was stuck in ballistics ever since her predecessor Jim Markhill had been fired, leaving a large amount of evidence to be tested and written up. No offence to Calleigh but I really did not want Abbey around that amount of guns. I think Speedle saw the look of unsurely in my face. His dark eyes met mine for a brief moment in understanding.

"She's just doing the reports. There are no guns involved." He told me quietly with a sincere smile. It freaked me out how he had the uncanny ability to read what I was thinking sometimes. Picking up some of the crayons on the table I decided to open up a little bit more to Speedle.

"Don't you think she'll mind watching Abbey?" I asked him fidgeting with the yellow crayon in my hand. He paused for a second his eyes on me.

"I mean I feel weird about asking her to look after my kid. We don't really know each other too well." I confessed over Abbey's head. Glancing down at her I realized she was still colouring in whatever she was drawing.

"Trust me she won't mind. We'll take the crayons and the paper, and Abbey can sit at the end of her desk and colour, meanwhile if we're not back, Delko will be. Besides Abbey will be a welcome distraction for her." I opened my mouth to protest, Speedle cut me off.

"She's babysat Madison before for Suzie and Horatio, she's had experience." He spoke knowingly, leaving me with no arguments except for the fact it felt weird.

"Remember what Alexx said? Make use of your adopted family." He preached at me. I shrugged. It was more stable than the family I had right now. I was eager to be accepted into a family. Even though the time hadn't been long, they seemed to immediately accept me into the fold. I felt more relaxed here then I had at any point. I looked up briefly meeting Tim's eyes again; he gave me a small smile as he bent over Abbey pointing at something. I felt something inside myself change. I found myself staring at him; I was still in awe by the comfort the guy made me feel. I was puzzled; I hadn't felt this way before. Pushing those thoughts away I turned my attention back to Abbey. She and Tim's heads were close together, they looked like plotters. Warmth ran through me as I watched them, something was changing in me and I wasn't sure I liked it.

"Come on Abbey, your going to meet our friend Calleigh now." His husky voice pierced my thoughts. Our eyes met again as I came out of my daze. I felt something powerful behind those gorgeous eyes, stirring there. Feeling almost weak from the course of emotions that were running through me, I carried Abbey's armies of crayons and paper towards the door of the break room, unable to grab Abbey's hand I turned to tell her to follow me. I found myself gaping in surprise as Abbey tugged eagerly at Speed's trouser leg. She'd never done this before to anyone but me. It took me by surprise that she was already beginning to consider Speed as family. Maybe she was just searching for the father figure that she hadn't known existed until now. On another note I didn't have a car right now. I'd managed to sell the on I'd used in England before I came over here, to give myself some extra money. Staring at Abbey's stuff I wasn't entirely sure how I was going to get it home. I guess I'd have to shell out for a taxi. At the minute all that didn't bear thinking about.

We left Abbey with Calleigh, who shooed me out the lab when I tried to appease her with my over zealous thank you's. It turned out Tim was right, she didn't mind, we were all family here. They had adopted me quickly, and made me feel at home. On my second day here, there had been a small get together in the break room organised by Eric. I'd never forget how welcomed I felt seeing everyone there smiling.

My foot tapped in tune to the song on the radio as Speed drove the massive Hummer to the crime scene. I didn't know my way around Miami yet, so it seemed best to let him drive.

Speedle and I arrived at the crime scene as thick dark clouds began to cover the sky, adding to the impending mood that was settling on me. It was clear a storm was moving in. Kit in hand, I stood outside the Hummer staring up at the monstrosity of a house before me. The once white washed outside was a dull lifeless grey. The thing looked as if it was barely standing on its own foundations. Somewhere in there was a dead body and a crime scene to analyse. I hoped the thing stayed up in this coarse wind long enough for us not to be crushed by it.

"Nervous?" Speedle asked as he followed my gaze to the shell of the old house. His brow furrowed in concern as it appeared to rock on its foundations.

"About that death trap?" I replied sarcastically. The wind around us was blowing frantically round my hair, tearing at my clothes. To my left a patrol officer approached us, clutching his hat. I moved quickly to meet him, Speed unconcerned stuck to my side bracing himself against the harsh gale.

"D.B's in the kitchen around the back." The officer shouted trying to raise his voice over the sound of the wind. I clutched my silver kit case tightly in my hand as it yanked at my arm.

"You sure that's safe to go in?" Speed replied in the same manner of yelling. I stood pressed against him trying to shield myself from the wind. The cop frowned and leaned into us.

"They said the foundations are perfectly capable to hold off this wind, you should be fine." I glanced at Speed dubiously. No matter what I guess we had to investigate. I stared at the building again as we rounded the corner to get to the back of the house, the police man trailing slowly behind us. It was strictly policy for an officer to accompany a C.S.I to the crime scene even more so after the event in Vegas. C.S.I Nick Stokes had been kidnapped from a crime scene in Vegas where he worked, by someone with a grudge against C.S.I. He was buried six feet under in a coffin; Nick Stokes was alive, during that. Nick's team spent every single minute they could try to find him, processing every shred of evidence they had. Eventually they found him just before his air supply ran out. Nick Stokes had been lucky in the way that he had actually survived. However he was not so lucky in the fact the event had actually happened to him. Nobody deserved that; I could only imagine what Nick was going through and what he had been through. That's why there was always a cop at a crime scene. Nick's story hadn't just stayed in Vegas, it had spread along the grapevine all the way around the country and then to mine. Delko told me the story one night when I was here during dinner. It was something I had nightmares about, only instead of Nick; it was me, Horatio or Delko. Lord knows I have enough real memories to contend with. I don't need anymore nightmares.

The scene was a massacre. As soon as we entered Speedle handed me the camera in order to take pictures of the walls, which were showered with blood. Smeared seemed amore appropriate word.

"At least we'll be able to get some finger prints." I remarked dryly taking a picture of a solid bloody hand print on the wall. I was fighting nausea as I photographed what looked like blood in a pot on the stove.

"Seems ritualistic. There's symbols carves onto the floor around the bodies." He spoke leaning down and gesturing with his hand. My gaze felon him as he turned his head in my direction.

"You think Satanists?" I asked. That had been my original thought. I watched as he bagged what I could only guess was a dagger.

Speed in the middle of the room looking around it, his eyes narrowed. I guessed that meant he was thinking.

"Possibly." He responded quietly. He was very deep in thought.

Taking a step back from the wall I begin to let the actual scene filter into my vision. Three torn open dead bodies lay almost dead centre in the room their feet in a circle in the middle, two male, one female. Their heads outwards tilted back as their arms rested above their head tied together by what looked like plastic cord. The room was devoid of all furniture except for a fridge and the stove, and various pans on the stove. I felt bile rising in my throat as my eyes rested on a piece of rib cage jutting out of the skin. They had all been torn open. I spent the next few minutes snapping pictures whilst Speedle talked on the phone whilst keeping what seemed to be a watchful eye on me. I stepped to the space between the body's feet and felt instantly felt a wave of vomit lid up my throat I pushed it back down again. In the middle were their hearts surrounded by a symbol underneath. The sick travelled up my throat again, the stench of the room causing me to gag as I moved carefully backwards camera still in hand. Yet my other hand over my mouth. I would not contaminate this crime scene. Hearing the sudden noise Speedle looked up and covered the speaking part of his phone. He reached out a hand for the camera, taking it from me as I felt my stomach wrench again.

"Go." He urged, shoving me towards the back door from which we entered. I barely made it into the garden before throwing up into a flowerbed. I was really glad I'd left my hair clipped up today. Leaving my lunch amongst the flowers I stood up taking a deep breath. I felt someone move behind me and turned suddenly to find myself facing Speed with a bottle of water and breathe mints. I peered around the garden for a second spotting the officer with his back to us. I was very glad he hadn't seen me throw up.

"I would have aimed for the pot." He told me with a small smile as I took the water bottle gratefully and gulped from it. I snorted taking the breath mints from his hand.

"Did you see what was in that thing? I'd be contaminating evidence." I told him popping a mint in my mouth.

"Thanks." I uttered, looking at him questioningly. He took the mints back from me and slipped them back into his pocket.

"First time I came to a crime scene…Bomb explosion, it was horrible, we were putting parts of people into bags." He took a deep breath before continuing. I crossed my arms over my chest as I watched his shoulders hunch. He was reliving the memory, looking at nothing in particular.

"There was a pile of rubble in front of me. I saw something sticking out of it. It was a hand. The fingers were slender; it was a woman's hand. I was absolutely positive she was a survivor. I grabbed her hand and as I turned to shout the rescue crew to help move the rubble I remember, I realized I still had her hand in my own. Her arm was severed up to the elbow, and I didn't realize I had been waving it around." He paused and wrapped his arms around himself. He glanced at me, gauging my reaction.

"It was like something from a movie you know? A comedy, the next minute, I wasn't sure how I got there, but I was outside throwing up everything I had eaten and what felt like more. It was one of the most horrible experiences I'd had in my life. Megan, my mentor at the time came out clutching a bottle of water and some breath mints, she handed them to me. Gave me the strength to get in there again and help out some more." His confession left me stunned. Tim Speedle seemed to actually trust me with something.

"So the wisdom is passed down through the ages?" I asked, looking directly into his eyes with a smile that was as warm as I felt. He returned it and we began walking back to the house.

"Best to carry them at a crime scene." He told me. "Horatio's on his way. He wants to see this and maybe we can get his opinion on the situation."

I nodded in response as we stopped at the door. He opened his mouth to speak.

"I've bagged all the evidence, and took swabs from the blood. Are you ok doing prints while I load this into the Hummer?" he asked me cautiously. I found myself nodding vigorously, happy to be included still.

"Sure." I told him, following him in, and picking up my kit from by the door.

"The officer is by the gate…" he trailed off as he reached the door arms full of evidence. His chocolate eyes bored into me with concern. I shooed him away.

"I'll be fine." I told him waving my hand at him. His eye brows scrunched up.

"If you sure." He spoke one last time.

"Of course." I gave him a pointed look. He took the hint and left the door open, I suspected more for his own benefit than mine.

I kept my back to the bodies'. Hopefully none of them would get up and grab me. Silence filled the house, only the wind could be heard. I was very aware of how quiet it was in here. It was eerie. I suddenly became very conscious of the body's behind me. The stillness of the room almost supernatural, it was alarming me slightly. I glanced over my shoulder just to make sure they hadn't moved. The massive storm clouds from over head were now covering the sky above the house and shrouding the kitchen in shadows. I shivered involuntarily. This place was giving me the creeps. I moved around the room lifting prints off the pan handle, and the dials off the stove. They were partials, but at least they were something. Something behind me cracked. Before I realized it my gun was in my hand and pointed at the body behind me. Everything in the room was still. Yet another noise caused me to point my gun at the ceiling. This time a dull thud followed by another crack. Someone was definitely up there. A million thoughts ran through my head.

"Eva?" I looked up and found Speedle staring at me, gun out standing in the kitchen doorway. My eyes moved back to the ceiling.

"There's somebody up there." I told him, his gaze followed mine. Another bump and a crashing sound. Tim looked at me.

"The house was meant to be checked out before we got here." He reminded me concerned. I shrugged in reply.

"Back me up?" I asked sweetly moving towards the stairs. Speedle raised an eyebrow, yet nodded in agreement. I think he guessed I was trying to prove myself. Yet he was aware he was the mentor in this situation. He stuck close to me as I moved slowly up the stairs. The onslaught of the storm had begun; I could hear it blowing a gale at the closed windows. The back of my mind was screaming nightmare scenario. Yet I grinded my teeth and continued up the stairs. My mind was playing tricks on me. Images of hooded cults danced in my brain. I moved towards the door directly in front of me, and turned to Speedle slightly. He counted to three with his fingers before kicking the door open, and yelling "police".

"Clear." He spoke quietly as we entered the room. The next room it was my turn to open the door. On Speedle's count I moved to open the door. As I moved forward a series of things happened. The door opened by itself, I found myself without a gun, in further seconds I found Speedle's gun pointed at me, something sharp pinching at my neck. In the five seconds of blankness, somehow my gun had ended up on the floor and me in the arms of a knife wielding madman, whom as I guessed was wearing a deep red robe with the hood down.

"Stay back." I watched Speed's eyes widen in concern and then narrow in concentration as he looked down the barrel of his gun. I hoped to God he had kept it clean. Panic was rising in me now.

"Put the gun down. Or I promise you I'll do her right now. Come on man, you wanna watch her die?" Speed leaning down dropping the gun onto the floor with a loud thud. He wouldn't risk my life in that way, but by dropping his gun he was defenceless too.

Hearing my captor snigger loudly behind me, I felt my chest clench. It was the laugh of someone whom sounded extremely high on drugs. Images of Abbey were dancing in front of my eyes. All that thinking before…I didn't want her to be an orphan, I didn't want her to grow up with out a mother or a father. I clenched my eyes shut for a second as the knife tickled my neck. I flinched as it nicked my skin.

"Come on put the knife down…" Speed's voice was steady. I didn't want to die in this horrible abandoned house, especially not in the hands of this maniac. I was begging Speed to convince this idiot to put the knife down. I barely had my breathing under control. I found myself afraid to breathe out as the knife brushed my neck once more.

"You don't understand man, he wants her. He's telling me he wants me to do her too." Tears rolled down my eyes out the sound of his skittish words, embarrassment flushed through me, but more so fear. I had to get out of this for Abbey. By the sound of it this man intended to kill me. I saw my gun beyond Speedle resting on the dusty floor. Speed's eyes were on me. He too could feel time was running out. I clenched my jaw, as I decided to make a move. I had to take this situation into my own hands. Behind me the mass murderer was ranting like hell.

"You see he demands it man. He's a god. We've all tried the essence of life and we want more, he needs it to live." The knife in front of me was wavering to and fro from my body. Tim's eyes were on the knife now watching it.

"She's going to make a great sacrifice, he'll love it, you will, her life pouring out, it's the best feeling man." He drew the knife up, I guessed to slit my throat. I took my chance driving my elbow back suddenly into his ribs, I heard him yelp in pain. I dived forward with as he shoved me reaching for my gun, as I saw Speedle leap at him. As I hit the floor I let out a small scream of pain as the shock hit me. I reached backwards fingers groping for the gun as Speed and the maniac fought for the knife. I never saw what happened only heard the motions of the fight. My hand wrapped around the gun, clenching it tightly. I rose to my feet turning to hear Speed's sudden cry of pain. Darkness erupted onto his shirt as he fell backwards into the floor, which vibrated underneath him. It came to my attention that the floor was rotten all the way through and we were standing on very dangerous territory with a mad man. I steadied my gun arm and pointed at the crazy assed son of a bitch who was holding the knife above his head ready to swing down on Speedle's chest.

"Freeze." I shrieked above the sound of the wailing wind. I saw it on his eyes as the knife swung down, the madness was too strong.

My shot rang out through the whole room, causing things in my head to move in slow motion. I prayed I hit. His head snapped back as the bullet caught him straight in the forehead, throwing his body away from Tim's, the knife falling from his hand on the floor nearby. The sudden impact of his body caused the floor to give way underneath him, making the ground beneath Tim shift and crack. He let out a groan shuffling back from the gaping hole in the floor. I moved towards him, a strange calm descending over me. Reaching him, I saw the front of his shirt was stained with the thick blood stemming from wound on his stomach. I cringed lifting up the shirt; a gapping slice across his stomach revealed itself to me. Speed's eyes fluttered closed. The floor moaned beneath our combined weight. It would give way any minute and I had to get Speed out of here.

"Speed…" I murmured grabbing his hand. He grasped it tightly, his hand warm and soft. I expected him to have workman's hands. Looking at his face I could see his jaw tightening in an attempt to stifle the agony he was in.

"We have to move now. The floor's going to collapse." I took off my beige suit jacket and bunched it up pressing it against the wound. He moved his hand to hold it to him. He knew I was attempting to stifle the bleeding. It was like he could read my mind. With our combined effort I managed to get him to his feet. He leaned on my heavily as I struggled to get him down the stairs. From time to time I glanced at his face as it paled. He was clenching his jaw and keeping his head up, that was good.

I drove like crazy to the location of the hospital the Hummer was showing on its G.P.S system. Tim next to me pressed my jacket tighter against himself. I swear to God I never heard him utter another moan of pain as we drove there, yet I could see it etched finely at his face. My mind flickered to the state of the officer at the crime scenes as he saw me drag Tim towards the Hummer. The ambulance wouldn't make it in time. I knew that. Leave the cop at the crime scene explain things to Horatio. Guilt was starting to niggled at me as I swerved around a corner, glancing at Speed as he closed his eyes.

"No stay with me… Speed open those eyes." I barked at him. His beautiful dark eyes were on me, now wide.

"Watch the road." He muttered. I turned my head back and rounded the corner into the hospital grounds. I braked suddenly in front of the A and E door. I jumped out screaming at anyone near by to get me a doctor. Within minutes Speedle was strapped to a stretcher and wheeled inside the hospital. My hand held onto the metal bar as I walked along side him.

"Eva…" his hand was on mine urgently tugging it. I grasped it gently in my own, caressing his fingers with mine.

"You'll be alright Speed. I promise." I told him as he nodded slightly.

"It's not your fault." I heard him say. I stared at him alarmed that was what he was thinking about. How it wasn't my fault, he was in total agony.

"Miss you can't some any further. We're taking him into surgery." I felt panic well up inside me. As long as I could see him I knew he was ok. Tim pulled at my hand again.

"You'll be here when I get back?" I smiled. He made it sound like a trip to the grocery store. Tears pinpricked my eyes as my heart twisted at his words.

"Of course." I spoke softy. The doctor pulled the stretcher quickly.

"I really insist, miss…" he said, breaking mine and Speed's connection. Underneath all this I knew Speed was as frightened as I was. The nurse grabbed gently pushing me towards the waiting room.

"We'll send someone out when we know how surgery goes." She told me warmly. I nodded turning away slowly making my way back to the waiting room alone.


	7. Chapter 7: Finding Out

Chapter Seven

I wasn't sure how long I'd been in the waiting room when it happened. What I do remember was that my hands were being rubbed against my eyes and my head was tilted back, leaning slightly against the room. Upon opening my eyes I saw darkness. For a second I thought I was blind. I actually felt panic rise in my throat coupled with the thought. What more can happen in a day?

The lights flickered on, then off again assuring me of my sight, as I heard a distant wail from a little boy close by. Looking around the waiting room, I saw a mass of reassured faces and the mutterings of patients going on about a black out caused by the storm. I heard hospitals ran on generators, yet I was still afraid for Speedle, what if this complicated surgery?

The lights stopped flickering and continued at their dim pace. It amazed me how no one else seemed phased by the blackout. I guess it was something I'd have to get used to here. Something trickled down my neck I ignored it. Taking a deep breath I raked my hands through my hair, whilst moving my head to stare at the shine of my black boots. Wrapping my arms around myself I felt sick, the shock of the day was wearing me down. Everything from Mark bringing Abbey over, and telling me he knew about the rape, to my confession to Speedle, and then to this. I could easily say that this had been the worse day of my life of far. I checked the clock, and it was only four thirty. I seriously hoped today didn't get any worse than it already was. Somehow I couldn't see how it could go anymore wrong. In the back of my mind I knew that Abbey was being looked after either by Delko or Calleigh. Yet desperately in my heart I was still worried. Today had taken a toll on both me and her. Also I was begging God to let Tim Speedle live. I wanted to see him come in grinning, telling me it was only a scratch and that I was a moron for exaggerating and rushing him to the hospital. Yet I knew that couldn't happen. I'd seen the blood gushing out of him; I'd seen how deep that wound was. There was no way I'd been exaggerating. I cringed thinking about the amount of blood that stained the seats of the Hummer; there was no way that was coming out anytime soon. I heard heels clicking near me as I watched my feet kick out. The rest of the team were going to hate me for this, my first case here in Miami and I'd already screwed. I'd gotten someone I actually like hurt, and screwed up the potential friendships that were blossoming. I was in so much shit.

The sound of boots stopped in front of me, the person casting a shadow on my own silhouette.

"Eva, is that you?" The voice was gentle and soft, I looked up into watery blue eyes. Kind wrinkles covered Horatio's face as I looked up into it as he crouched in front of me.

"Hey." He said as our eyes met again. His smile was warm and open. I sighed before replying.

"Hey." My own voice sounded weak. Horatio's eyes never flickered off me; I saw something in them that I couldn't interoperate.

"How you holding up?" he asked concerned. I moved backwards into a sitting position with my back against the wall. I decided to answer honestly.

"I'm doing ok." Looking up now I realized Alexx was standing next to him in all her glory. Her face etched with worry. Her dark oak eyes were focused on something on my neck making me feel uncomfortable. She leaned towards me slightly.

"Honey that cut on your neck looks nasty, your bleeding all over yourself." I frowned as she spoke unsure what she was talking about, I put a hand to the smooth skin on my neck. It felt wet and sticky. I pulled my hand away to see it covered in the thick red substance. Horatio was on his feet now, hand on his hips.

"It must have been when the perp nicked me." I told Alexx distracted. She looked down at me sympathetically before taking a seat and putting an arm around me.

"You've had a rough day haven't you baby." I nodded feeling tears burning in my eyes. I wiped at them, trying to force them back. Horatio's hand appeared into view with a white handkerchief attached to it. I took it gladly wiping slowly at my neck.

"Here baby let me help." Alexx took the handkerchief from my hands and dabbed at the wound carefully. I flinched as she traced the cut.

"Sorry baby." She spoke with genuine remorse in her voice. After a few seconds of silence she reached beside her throwing the handkerchief in the bin.

"There you go honey, you're all cleaned up." Her kindness brought tears to my eyes again this time I felt some roll out.

"Oh baby... I'm sorry." Alexx pulled me closer to her, into her shoulder. I could tell she was looking at Horatio over the top of my head.

"It's my entire fault…he threw his gun down because the guy had a knife to my throat and he didn't want to risk it. When I elbowed the guy he lunged at him so he didn't cut me again." I told them through broken sentences. I was hanging on here by a thread; I would not break down completely. Not here, not in front of them.

"Sometimes Eva, people do what they think right in certain situations, I'm sure Speed thought you were worth the risk." Horatio told me moving his head to look back at me. He had a ghost of a smile on his lips. He wasn't mad. He was glad that we were looking out for each other. I wondered if he knew about the previous conflict we'd had.

"Any word on Timmy yet?" Alexx asked. I shook my head in response.

"The doctor said they were taking him into surgery about an hour ago. I've heard nothing since. The power cut off about ten minutes ago." I told them. Horatio must have seen the fear in my face because he sat down next to me and responded with his own comment and a dry grin. He was fiddling with the lens of his sunglasses.

"Don't worry, hospitals have back up generators. It'll be fine." Horatio glanced at me then back on the sunglasses.

"Do you think you can tell me what happened?" He asked me quietly. I bowed my head and nodded at the same time. I felt both their eyes on me. I also felt the impulse to explain. There was no time. A doctor with thick rimmed glasses came scurrying out and walking towards me. I got nothing from his facial expression. The three of us rose to our feet and huddled around him, anxious and fearful. It hung in the air like tension.

"Are any of you family of Mr Speedle?" I folded my arms over my chest unsure of what to say.

"We're all family here." Horatio informed him before I had a chance to open my mouth. I bit my bottom lip, my eyes returning to the face of the aging doctor. Alexx nodded her head for empathises. The doctor eyed us wearily; his eyes fell onto Horatio's badge, then mine. I watched as his gaze fell to my neck and the blood I knew was staining my shirt.

"Let me see your neck." He spoke quietly. I obliged tilting my head away to the opposite side of the cut so he could get a better look at the wound. I winced as the skin on my neck pulled. He moved closer to me in order to see it. He put his hand in his pocket tugging out a bandage and some gauze.

"So how did you do this?" the doctor asked pressing the bandage to my throat after scrubbing at it with some medicine solution that stung.

"Perp got me at knife point, he was as crazy as hell, nicked my neck with the knife. I've never been treated in a waiting room before." I gave him a small smile. It was now on my list of things that could be classed as strange. The doctor raised his eyes to me sincerely.

"When the power goes out like this we have to treat everyone with whatever we have to hand, wherever, whenever. It's easier to get you done like this for the time being until power is restored." He slapped the gauze on my neck in order to keep the bandage in place.

"No stitches, you'll be fine, there seems no sign of infection." I looked at him as he stepped back away from me.

"Thank you."

"Doctor what can you tell us about our Timmy?" Alexx asked her face the living embodiment of concern.

"Mr Speedle suffered a deep stab wound to the stomach. We had to rush him into surgery to stop the internal bleeding. We stitched him up yet he's still under the effect of the aesthetic but we have to get him out quickly. A bus just crashed on the freeway their being rushed in as we speak. I was wondering if someone could stay with him tonight and keep an eye on him." The doctor asked, looking over the top of his glasses at us. My hand was already waving at him.

"I will." I caught Alexx and Horatio's gaze on me. "This was my fault therefore this is my responsibility." I explained. It was true. What had happened to Tim was my fault, if I wasn't dumb enough to let the perp grab me Tim wouldn't have lunged at the guy to stop him knifing me.

"I understand." The doctor replied. I looked briefly at the floor away from everyone else. "I'll go bring him out. By the way he can't drive, so maybe have someone pick up his car for him?" he muttered as he walked away, disappearing though the set of double doors they'd taken Speed through. Horatio's hands were on his hips again, I pretended not to notice that he was also wearing a frown.

"Eva, you've sustained a big shock today are you sure that's wise?" Horatio commented, I couldn't read what was in his voice. I felt frustration curve through me. This was my decision goddamn it. I knew Horatio would be worried. I also wondered whether Delko had told him a few things. I met his stare full on as he studied my face.

"Look Horatio, this is my mess, I should be the one to take care of him. It was my fault he got in this state." My fingers tapped against my arm, it was a habit I'd picked up sometimes when I was agitated. Horatio glanced down at the floor and then back up at me.

"I heard you and Speedle had a bit of a clash over the Trace Lab." Horatio's eyes fell on me again. I looked away focusing on a small child in the distance who was proceeding to ram his truck into another truck. I was surprised how much didn't get past Horatio. He knew everything.

"We did, and we resolved it. He thought you'd hired me to replace him, I told him it wasn't true, my expertises just happened to be in Trace. I guess we're kind of friends now. He helped me out a lot today. I owe it to him to do this Horatio." My own hands were on my hips now as our eyes met again. We were standing close together. It felt like a face off, I was giving him my reasons. At the end of the day he was my friend and my boss, he was concerned about me, not just about me, but Abbey and Speedle as well.

"Has this got anything to do with Mark turning up this morning?" Horatio asked me. My jaw clenched involuntary. I found myself almost growling.

"How do you know about that?" I asked letting out a deep sigh. Maybe he was psychic?

"I have my sources." He spoke with a dry smile. A few things clicked into place.

"Is this source called Delko?" Horatio actually gave a small laugh to go with what I took to be a nod.

"What did he tell you?" I asked focusing on the floor beneath my feet.

"Alexx, could you go get us a cup of coffee please?" He asked, Alexx took heed and walked in the direction of a corridor. I guess she'd been here before. Horatio guided me back to the row of seats using his hand on the small of my back. We sat down facing each other.

"Eva… Eric told me what Blake Marriot did to you. He also told me that the case got thrown out because someone tampered with the evidence. Now today I know Mark turned up, I even know that he dropped Abbey off the lab, and that Calleigh and Delko have been looking after her today in the lab while you've been on call out. What I don't know is why you didn't tell me any of this." The moment the words left his mouth I felt like I'd betrayed him, I also know that's how he felt. He sat in front of me toying with the sun glasses in his hand. I knew he was disappointed. He was questioning himself, his integrity.

"Horatio…" Groping for the words I was trying to explain. I grasped his hands in mine tightly. My eyes were searching his trying to communicate this wasn't his fault.

"Horatio… It's not your fault." I spoke honestly. His eyes were on my hands.

"I was running away from the memories, every day I had to walk into that police department with everyone knowing what that man had done to me. I was seeing him in dreams and in my head all the time, I couldn't escape it." Horatio showed no signs of interrupting so I continued.

"I didn't tell you…because I couldn't deal with it myself. I also thought you'd judge the way I preformed my job based on the fact of that happening to me." I couldn't bring myself to say that awful word at all in his presence. The fact he knew had put me on edge. He'd probably pulled my files and reviewed the evidence himself knowing Horatio. I hated to of been him when he saw it. Somehow he always managed to hold himself responsible for these things. Still clasping his hands in mine I continued.

"Mark doesn't want anything to do with Abbey." I added, my eyes traced the veins on Horatio's hands. I didn't want to see his reaction right now.

"I don't know how to explain to her that the man I just introduced as her father, doesn't want to be her father." My head was a spinning mess of things right now. I was aware though that in my own way I was asking Horatio for advice. I didn't know what to do. In this situation nothing was clear. I could feel tiredness was also beginning to set in. Horatio was staring off into the distance. I felt like screaming out loud and shaking him.

"You know what Eva? I don't think you'll have to tell her." His eyes were back on the sunglasses in his hands. I felt my own eyes narrow; there was something he should be telling me right now. Anger flared up inside me, even though I knew it shouldn't be directed at Horatio. I noticed Horatio was refusing to look at me. It infuriated me even more.

"Horatio, what is going on?" I could read the signs loud and clear. I studied his face as Horatio opened his mouth to say something but stumbled on the words. Panic rose in my throat. Was it Abbey? Horatio tried again.

"I was talking to Abbey today when I put my hand on her shoulder, she flinched. I noticed she has some discoloration on her shoulder and neck." I actually felt my jaw drop. Numbness ran through me.

"Discoloration?" the word tasted sour in my mouth as I said it. I almost couldn't understand the term.

"I got Alexx to check it out, it's nothing serious. She said it's just a bruise." Horatio finished. He was giving me time to absorb what he was telling me.

"A bruise?" I mimicked. Anger rushed through me. I was feeling again, that was good.

"Alexx said it looks as if someone grabbed her shoulder." That's the minute I almost lost it. I couldn't comprehend the words he was saying. Everything crashed down around my head. Yet at the same time it was all clicking into place. Mark's desperation to get rid of Abbey, Abbey's restrained quietness, I thought that it was just jet lag… The first thing she did was get away from Mark when we met in the reception.

"Oh my God…" My thoughts were running wild. Fear and fury were racing through me right now.

"Has she been checked out?" I asked Horatio. Right now I hated his patience, his slowness to respond to my questions, his ability to show no emotions, to seem so unaffected. Horatio grabbed my hands suddenly cupping them in his, squeezing them.

"Look Eva I don't want you to worry right now you have enough on you plate, Abbey's fine, it's the only mark on her." I clenched my jaw to keep myself from crying. Tears were threatening me. I couldn't do this here and now. I had to be strong. Horatio phone went off loudly snapping us out of the conversation. He picked it up answering with his usual answer.

"Caine." He looked at me before turning away and walking outside of the emergency room doors in order to take his call. I took a deep breath attempting to ground myself. This was not happening. I was repeating it over and over again in my head. I was in denial yet I knew it was coming to an end. My mind was to logical working it through easily. Mark had hurt Abbey; it was in my head, the evidence on her. I couldn't begin to imagine what had made him do it. I put my head in my hands welcoming the darkness hoping that it would push everything away. It didn't it was all still there.

"Eva, honey?" I raised my head weakly to see Alexx in front of me coffee in hand. I took it gratefully gulping the hot liquid to scald the bitterness out of my mouth. Alex was in the seat beside me now.

"I see Horatio told you about the bruising on Abbey." She told me, her face deadly serious. For a brief moment a horrible thought crossed my mind.

"Alexx, do you think I did it?" I asked her incredulously. My voice was shaking as I spoke. She looked affronted at me.

"No honey I do not. I know how much you love your baby girl, now that ex of yours I wouldn't put it past him." Alexx told me shaking her head for empathises.

"We won't have to worry about that anymore he wants nothing to do with Abbey." I told her wrapping my arms around myself. I felt torn, sad and hurt.

"Maybe it's for the best sugar. Give you both some time to move on and start a fresh." She was right, I knew it, but part of me was frightened of letting go of everything and everyone I had ever known that was linking me back to that life. I had been successful, and happy. Instantly I chided myself for being selfish I had to think of Abbey's needs to. This was a fresh start for both of us; I had to make it work.

"Alexx, I'm scared." I confessed rubbing at the stinging tears in my eyes.

"I know, honey, I know. You're not on your own though." Alexx spoke softly taking a sip of her coffee.

"You're never on your own Eva. We're even there when you sleep" I glanced up seeing Speedle in a wheel chair sitting in front of me. He still had the indecency to tease me, even after a minor operation. He caught the look on my face as I frowned at his wheelchair, and his own went red.

"They insisted on the wheel chair." He mumbled gruffly. I let out a small laugh. The tension between us all broke as everyone cracked a smile. I stood up and moved behind Speedle's wheel chair.

"Come on tough guy, it's the only time I'm gonna be pushing you about so just relax." I told him silencing his protests. Mine and Tim's joking always took the edge off things; the laughter was almost a relief.

"It's nice to see you smiling again sugar." Alexx told me as we wheeled the still grumbling Speedle towards the doors outside.

"Erm… Alexx, the Hummer." I groaned pointing at the empty space where the Hummer had been. I couldn't believe this. I'd left the keys in it in my rush to get Tim into the hospital. I suddenly found myself laughing. This was stupid. Everything about today was ridiculous. Alexx turned grinning at me.

"Horatio had Calleigh take it back to the Crime lab when he got here and saw that the keys were still in it." Alexx's grin appeared to be in remembrance. I giggled at the thought of Horatio's face as he stared at the keys dangling in the ignition. Saying that I don't even remember switching off the engine.

"I had to tell her to watch the road." Speed told Alexx as we exited the main doors. Horatio snapped his phone shut as we drew close. His thin smile grew as he saw Speed growling at me and Alexx. Putting his hands on his hips his eyes focused on the younger man.

"How are you doing Speed?" he asked politely. Speedle's head tilted in Horatio's direction.

"The wheelchairs unnecessary." He muttered. "Otherwise I'm too doped up right now to feel that much pain." Horatio grinned at his words and shook his head.

"You're staying with Eva tonight; I've made some arrangements with Internal Affairs. They won't be bothering you both until tomorrow. I want you both in at noon so they can take your statements." Noon? That meant we got a lie in. Speedle turned his head in my direction. I could only see a profile shot of him. I leaned closer over the wheelchair to hear what he was saying.

"Is that alright with you?" he murmured quietly. I gave him a small smile. I knew he hated feeling useless, and he probably felt like a burden right now.

"Of course. Anyway you can give me a hand with Abbey. She's had a long day." I told him straightening up; I pushed the chair to Horatio's Hummer.

"So have you." He spoke softly as our eyes met. I was helping him into the back of the Hummer as Alexx returned the wheelchair. He looked so childlike and vulnerable right now, as if he was frightened of rejection. I didn't understand what caused this insecurity, but I understood how he felt. I was touched that he was showing me this side of him. It was weird how in a few days we had gone from hating each other to this.

"Timmy, your no burden on me." I gave him what I hoped was a warm smile and patted his arm gently. His brilliant dark eyes analysed my face for a second. Was he trying to judge my honesty? I sighed. Something bad had happened to Tim Speedle and it had damaged him a lot more than he let on. I wondered briefly what it was.

I guess I'd been staring pretty intently; he pulled his gaze away from me quickly, leaving me feeling dazed and confused. Pushing it to the back of my mind I climbed in the back seat of the Hummer waiting next to him.

As Horatio drove us all back to the Crime Lab, I turned around in my seat, letting my eyes rest on his rugged features as he focused on the growing darkness outside of the window. Due to the power cut all the street lights were out shedding no light on the roads we drove on. I touched Tim's arm gently in order to get his attention. He jerked suddenly shocked, as I interrupted his thinking, taking a deep breath to ground himself; he then turned his face towards me.

"Hm…" he looked deep in thought. I could tell this was going to stick with him, much like the shootings he'd survived, or the bomb he'd narrowly missed being blown up by. It would leave another scar upon his body, showing that it had really happened; it was just something else he couldn't erase. God wasn't being fair to anyone in C.S.I at the moment. It made me wonder what we'd all done wrong.

"Tim… I never got to say thank you." I heard myself whisper as I leaned into him. His inviting scent poured into my nose intoxicating me for a second. I snapped myself out of it quickly by pulling away from him.

"You don't need to." It was all he replied as he turned his face back to the window. He had no idea what his simple words meant to me. As we pulled up at the lab I felt a surge of comfort. It felt friendly and inviting. In short it felt like home.


	8. Chapter 8: Dinner With Tears

AN: Right okies. The next chapter is going to be from Speed's point of view. So that should make an interesting change. Anyway thanks to randomwriting and Anni, you guys have helped push me through this. This chapter features some talk of abuse (violence, and meanness, but not to a massive extent.) It's mentioned. Anyway have fun.

Chapter Eight

"You know you don't have to take care of me, I'll be fine on my own. It doesn't even hurt that much." Speed had been attempting to escape since he'd let me drive his car over here filled with Abbey's stuff. He was now sitting on one of the chairs that were dotted around the circular table in the kitchen. Abbey was in the living room attempting to read one of the new books I'd bought her. I'd kicked my own shoes off upon coming in. I'd along day and the boots felt like they were suffocated my feet.

"Really?" I spoke whilst grating the cheese to go on top of the pasta I was making for the three of us. Thank god Abbey wasn't that fussy. I was having enough trouble trying to convince Tim I honestly didn't mind the fact he was staying over, which was proving as fruitful as whacking my head repeatedly against a wall right now.

"Yea, it's absolutely… Ow, for Christ's Sake Eva." He roared as I moved over to him and poked him lightly in the ribs causing him to move suddenly. Catching my gaze he shot me a look of disbelief and terror.

"Why would you do that?" he asked with puppy dog eyes. I laughed as he broke into a small smile.

"All because you lied." I reminded him, turning my back to sprinkle some oregano into the sauce I was making.

"Mommy says lying is bad Speed, you should know better being a police person." I glanced over my shoulder, catching sight of Abbey standing in the doorway. Her hands were on her hips as she scowled at Speedle. She was learning Horatio's bad habits already. I clicked my tongue whilst stirring the sauce thinking about what else she'd pick up from him. I turned to see Abbey struggle to take the seat next to Speedle. He leaned forward facing her resting his elbows on his knees to get eye contact with her. I knew from the way his body tense it strained him to do so, yet he tried.

"Mommy's right, you shouldn't lie. It's a bad thing to do." Tim told her, with a small smile.

"Mommy spends a lot of time trying to make bad people tell the truth." I heard Speedle add as I drained the pasta in the colander.

"Do you do that too Speed?"

"Of course, so do the other people you met today."

"Uncle Eric told me he helps catch the bad guys so they don't hurt people anymore." Her voice was small, and probing.

"Delko's right, that's our job too." Speedle said thoughtfully. I could see this wasn't his first interaction with a small child, but he still was relatively new to this. I smiled to myself. Abbey was making fast work of him.

"Are you friends with Uncle Eric?" Abbey asked Tim, curiosity etched in her voice.

"We're very good friends." he answered slowly. "I've known him along time."

"What about mommy?" Abbey continued her line of questioning as I tuned out, dishing up the food and sliding it onto the table in front of both Abbey and Speedle. Abbey immediately picked up her small fork and prodded at the pasta playfully. I glanced over at Tim while we were eating; he seemed to be enjoying his meal. Well he hadn't complained yet. Meanwhile Abbey chattered at Tim about the names of her favourite stuffed animals and why she liked the colour green.

I drifted out of the conversation for a few minutes thinking about the conversation I had had with Suzie before I had left the lab whilst picking up Abbey. She was there to see Horatio about babysitting for Madison few nights this week. Her job required doing some training in San Francisco in order to give her the possibility to progress in her career in Management. Suzie worked as an assistant in a large chain of stores. A position in management had opened up and they wanted Suzie for the job, hence she had to have training. Anyway after conversing with Suzie we made an agreement. She would pick Abbey up and take her to the same day care as Madison; she would also pick her up and keep her at her house with Madison. In return I would give Suzie a small amount of money to oversee the costs of the meals she would make Abbey when I wasn't there. At first Suzie protested but there was no way I could not give her something for the help she was giving me right now. In the end we were helping watch other out bit by bit. I would not forget this at all. Suzie was one of the few people who truly understood what it was like to be a single mother, her experiences and advice gave me a lot of help over the last year. She came across as quite meek, but Suzie was fierce when it came to protecting Madison. It was something I admired in her.

"When I was at Daddy's I ate happy meals every day." I felt my own fork freeze mid air. No way. I hoped to god that Mark had not been feeding Abbey Happy Meals the entire two weeks she'd been staying with him. My eyes rose and met Tim's, he looked as surprised at the statement as I did. Abbey's oceanic blue eyes were on me. Realizing something was wrong she began to quiver in her seat. Abbey never did that. Trying to diffuse the situation and get answers at the same time, I continued to eat, whilst giving Abbey a little smile. Abbey seemed to relax in her chair and continued eating, yet it was hurried, something else she never did. I suspected that Mark's abuse had gone further than just that one bruise. I toyed with my food for a minute.

"So what did you do at Daddy's?" I asked Abbey scooping some pasta into my mouth with a bright smile. She bowed her head and fiddled with her hands for a second. I found myself staring at her.

"He was asking questions about you and Uncle Eric, mommy, he said some nasty things about you and he got angry when I told him he was wrong. He called you a who… or." The closest word I knew to that was whore. How nice Mark had been sharing his views with my daughter. The look on Abbey's face when she turned to me almost made me cry. Tears had made her beautiful blue eyes look like pools of cornflowers. I dropped my fork, leaving it to clatter on the table, moving forward I kneeled in front of Abbey turning her towards me. Feeling my heart wretch, I gathered her in my arms holding her closely to my chest. Little sobs erupted from her as I held her tightly. Looking over her shoulder and seeing Tim sitting there, mid forkful with an awkward look on his face reminded me he was there. Rubbing my hand on Abbey's back soothingly, I jerked my head towards the living room. Nodding he picked up his bowl and fork and moved with deadly stealth towards the living room, his other hand clutching his stomach wound slightly. He'd be needing to take his pain killers soon. Abbey's crying began to ease a little, yet she still clung onto me like I was her last life line. I held her head to my shoulder, smoothing her hair with my hand gently.

"What's wrong honey? Come on you can tell mommy." I told her softly. Abbey pulled away from me slightly. Still crouching in my position I looked into her eyes, with a small smile. Abbey wiped at her eyes with the sleeves of her purple cardigan.

"Mommy do I have to go to Daddy's again?" She asked me quietly, tears were still running down her cheeks. I cupped them in my hands, stroking them softly.

"No honey you don't. You don't have to do anything you don't want to." I told her hugging her again. Her tiny grip was fierce. She began to cry again.

"Mommy, Daddy hurt me." I patted her head softly, thinking how brave she was for telling me. Tears were in my own eyes now, but I was trying to be strong. Sniffing, I tugged away from her, my hands still on her arms gently.

"Can you show me where honey?" I asked her. Abbey hesitated. I don't know what she saw in my eyes, but she decided to comply. I stood up so I could get a better look as she pulled the cardigan off. Part of the bruise shone on a small portion of her neck. The cardigan had hidden that due to the placement of the frilled hem. Abbey shook the shoulder of the dress down, to show me the main attraction. I felt myself clench in anger and guilt as I saw that bruise, it traced from her neck down across her tiny shoulder. I could see the bloody finger marks in her skin. Mark had grabbed her hard, too damned hard. Swallowing back my emotions I gave Abbey a small smile before asking carefully.

"How did this happen honey?" Letting go of her dress she wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her head into my shoulder.

"I was in the way." She mumbled. My eyes narrowed, unsure of her words.

"Daddy was having a lady over to his house and I was standing at the wrong place. He made me move, but Mommy it hurt, he pushed me into my room. Mommy it was so dark, I don't like the dark, and the monsters can get out. He wouldn't let me put the light on mommy. I couldn't see." She was sobbing now; full fledged sobs were wracking her beautiful little body. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand what Mark had done to her. It was my own fault I'd left her there; I should have brought her with me. I should have been more organised. Yet I know all the "should of's" in the world couldn't change what had happened to Abbey. It was tearing me apart inside. Silently I was cursing Mark in my head, I'd told him she was scared of the dark, I even handed him the fucking nightlight. I smoothed Abbey's small curls and held her to me tightly. I never wanted to let her go. She'd been through so much and she was only three years old. Abbey was losing her innocence long before her time. I didn't want that to happen. I was gong to avoid it at all costs.

Patting the back of her head gently as she began to calm I felt wretched. My legs were also beginning to feel the strain of my weight leaning on them. Forcing all my emotions away I looked into her eyes. She was a lot calmer now. I was glad she had told me. She yawned, her face and eyes red from her crying. Her little mouth showed a perfect set of pearly white teeth. The anger in me had seethed to frustration and then to sadness. It was just another thing to survive. I hoped to God I was doing this right. I stood up, my back to the doorway of the living room. Abbey looked up at me wearily.

"Come on honey I'll help tuck you into bed." I spoke softly to her. She raised her arms extending them towards me. I picked her up. Her head lolled onto my shoulder wearily as her arms clutched me. Her little eyes closed as she rested against me. I knew she felt safe right now. The way she relaxed in my grip told me so.

"Mommy, make Tim come read me a story?" I smiled as she spoke, bouncing her slightly as I turned around. My mouth formed a small "oh" as I realized that Tim was standing in the doorway. His lean form resting against the solid door frame, I wondered how long he'd been there. There were so many things I wanted to say right now, to explain, and to apologize for. Instead my mouth clenched itself shut, I found myself unable to speak. Shame filled me as I did so. I felt awkwardness growing until Tim began to speak.

"Of course I will, love." He said quietly taking a few strong steps towards me. His gorgeous chocolate eyes remained on my face, serious, as he moved towards us. I could barely stand to look in them. I didn't want to see his disappointment. Abbey stretched out her arms to Tim's neck, wrapping her arms around him. He took her from me gently, holding her as if she was the most fragile thing in the universe. I kissed Abbey on the forehead and whispered goodnight, she was precious. Abbey was my soul; Tim understood that, and watching her melt into his arms seemed almost natural to me.

"Don't forget her nightlight." I told him tenderly, crossing my arms over my chest beginning to feel insecure. Tim turned to me as he was walking away, his face unreadable.

"I know." I bowed my head sighing as he spoke. He'd heard a lot of the conversation I take it. Moving away from the kitchen I turned the light off and stepped into the living room, letting the silence encase me. I slumped on the sofa, lying across it for a few minutes attempting to absorb the latest hit I'd taken. Tiredness ran through me as I lay there. All my emotions were crashing against the surface, threatening to overcome me. Oh hell. I was pushing this to happen when I was on my own in bed. Yet right now tears were pinpricking my eyes. They were stinging. I wanted to hold everything back, but in the end I just had to let go and give in.


	9. Chapter 9: Scars

Chapter Nine

POV: Speedle

I put the "Cuddly Bear" book down softly as I realised Abbey was fast asleep. Her gentle snores had broken through my reading as I spoke leading me to that same conclusion. Standing up I stretched, wincing involuntarily as the wound on my stomach pulled. I had forgotten it was there. Clenching my jaw, I ignored the urge to cry out. I couldn't, wouldn't do that here.

My mind was twisting in depressive thoughts; the pain had just been another reminder of how life had given me another close call. I wasn't sure how the hell I was managing to survive. I'd had more second chances then most people, most of incidents due to my own carelessness. To add to my own stupidity I had left myself weak and exposed today; I didn't want to show Eva anymore of that side of me. She'd seen too much already. My hand shifted to the wound pressing against it. The doctor had told me it was going to be another scar to add to my growing collection. I had quite a few now. To confess scars made me nervous, they created an unsettled feeling at the pit of my stomach. My mind forced me to be aware I associated them with rejection. Who picks scars over flawless skin anyway?

I remember my last girlfriend Laura, we'd been seeing each other for a few weeks, when my clothes came off for the first time, and she gasped. At first I was proud, and then I realized her eyes were lingering on the bullet hole in my chest, next they strayed to the thin jagged slice across the left side of my collarbone, and so on. She was looking at my scars; one by one she was staring at my imperfections, taking in each one, selecting a reason to tell me she didn't want to see me anymore. She didn't have to. I didn't make her have to give me a reason. I just picked up my stuff and left. I didn't have to say a word I simply left. There had been no one after that. There hasn't been anyone for a long time.

I ran my hand through thick my hair and found myself gazing at Abbey. She looked so vulnerable lying there. I couldn't believe Mark hurt her. The original anger was returning slowly. I'd seen the bruising on Abbey's shoulder when she'd shown Eva; I'd heard her words and seen her tears. It was unfair, and if Mark was still in the country, I'd be battering down his door right now. I wasn't sure if Delko knew. In fact I doubted it highly; otherwise he'd be on a plane right now, with Mark's address clutched tightly in his hand whilst chatting up the stewardess. Taking a deep breath I turned away from Abbey and left the room. I didn't like the fact I was feeling so protective all of a sudden. I don't want to accept that I was finally beginning to care about someone. The little girl had broken into my heart somehow, just like her mother.

Sighing deeply I made my way across the silent house towards the living room doorway. Things were changing inside me. Ever since the shooting everything had been different; I'd started to realize there was no point in me getting involved with anyone else. It was too dangerous for me in general. My emotions get destroyed because of my job, heck they were already destroyed before that, but there is no way I could ever give my job up. Civilians don't understand what the job means to me, or to the other people in my life. They can't cope with the odd hours, the stress or the danger it contains. My ex girlfriend Samantha couldn't cope with the experiences that followed after I'd been shot. She couldn't stand the nightmares I'd been having, or the fact I had to report to physiotherapy every few days. She couldn't take the frustration either; the inability to work or do hardly anything with my right arm had taken a toll on me. Horatio had forced me to see a shrink in order to vent what emotions I was feeling; especially when he heard that Sam had left me. With Horatio's help, and everyone else on the team, I'd gotten through my near death experience, and the depression which followed. I appreciated the help they'd all given me.

Leaning in the curved archway of the living room, I took a moment to realize that my thoughts and the silence of the living room was being broken by a small strange sniffing sound. The offender was in the direction of the couch, as I cautiously stepped closer to the sofa attempting to keep my presence hidden, I was shocked to discover Eva crouched in the deepest corner of the sofa trying bitterly to hide her crying. Part of my brain tried to force my body to back pedal, get out of the room and leave. It didn't want this new change to affect me, it wanted to ignore the fact I'd began to care for someone else. It wanted to go back home to my dark little apartment and reside there, reading forensics journals and drinking beer. The other, over whelming part of me, wanted to grab this woman and wrap her in my arms, and make sure that nothing ever again happened to her.

Hearing her sobs resound louder throughout the room was crushing me. I found myself moving up slowly behind the couch and then around it, to face the distraught female. Eva's hands were covering her pale face, as she struggled to stifle the echoing sound of her tears. She couldn't see me standing in front of her. My heart pounded in my chest, clenching in pain. There was no way I could walk out on her right now. She'd taken an unwilling place in my heart, maybe even my soul. Right now against the emotions I was feeling powerless, I'd never lost control as much as this. It was wrecking me inside as I small battle waged on in my head about what I should exactly be doing right now, pushing it all away I suddenly found myself in overdrive, responding with instincts I never knew I'd acquired before, just like this morning in the locker room. I was propelled to move towards her, to clasp her in my arms and soothe her pain. Before I knew it I'd fallen to my knees in front of her, both of my hands shaking were combing through her silky black hair, pulling her closer into the confines of my arms. I'd never felt this close to anyone before. Eva's arms wrapped around me tightening around my waist, they fit comfortably around me feeling eerily natural. Her head was buried into my shoulder; wetness was beginning to seep through the material of my clean shirt. Something else surprised me. I didn't seem to mind.

"Wanna talk about it?" I asked her quietly, as I listened to her begin to calm. Mentally I banged my head against a wall. Considering the amount of crap she'd been through today, we had a variety of topics we could choose from. Today had been hell for us both. My stab wound was throbbing right now. It was a dull low ache in the background. Just another scar to form. My mouth was open before I even realized I was talking, or in this case confessing.

"I saw your file Eva." I confessed, my face buried in the sweet jasmine scent of her hair. She said nothing, there was silence between us. I felt her hands grab my shirt tightly. I knew she was shocked. I also knew I shouldn't have looked. The pictures in it had shaken me to the core of my being. I'd seen things like that before, but I'd been detached. As far as I was concerned they were all anonymous victims. I still fought and worked desperately on their cases, but at the end of the day I could reside peacefully at home knowing I'd helped put the people who had brutalised them in prison. Seeing those horrific pictures today and spending time with the woman as a friend and a colleague before hand without knowing that she was harbouring that secret had given me a blow to my brain and mental capability. Feeling her clench and hearing her gasp out loud I tried to explain.

"It was on Horatio's desk, I knocked it off. I didn't realize…" I trailed off feeling her second deep intake of breath. She knew what was in the file; she knew what I'd seen. I didn't know why I was telling her this. I felt guilty. In the locker room today when I grabbed her I'd been filled with such guilt and remorse, even after seeing that file, for a moment I forgot about it then I'd made the situation worse. I had vowed to myself to keep it quiet, the images stuck firmly in my mind now as I held her tightly. They'd haunted me violently throughout the day, sticking deep in my head, keeping me wound tight and distracted ever since I'd seen her reaction. She'd been through so much, seeing those pictures and her now blew my mind. She bounced back quickly and hid the parts of herself that could be deemed by other people as weak. Without seeing that file I would never have guessed the extent of what had happened. She never told me he'd beaten her. According to the reports she'd suffered a lot of internal damage, the bastard had almost killed her.

"You always seem so happy and carefree." I whispered, the words slipping out into her ear. I clamped my mouth shut frightened to open it again in case I blurted out anything else uncontrollably.

"I don't understand how you're coping with all this." Yet again my mouth had a mind of its own, I was talking without thinking, for the first time in my life I realised I wasn't guarding my speech. Aware of it, part of me felt the need to stand up and pull away from her. I had to get some distance between us. I didn't feel in control of myself anymore and I was blaming her.

I closed my eyes shut tightly. I'd always been in control ever since…

"When I was younger I was in an accident with one of my best friend." I felt her movement as she moved her head up to look at me. I refused to open my eyes. Trapped in the memory and the guilt surrounding it I continued, unsure to why I was telling her this. "I'd been driving the snowmobile; we were driving up this big snowy path. I didn't see the log under the snow. We were laughing and joking." A faint smile overcame me.

"Marty was telling me about how he was gonna ask Alice Holborn to the Prom, I laughed at him." Pain riddled me as I began to retell the next part of the story. Tears were attempting to force themselves out. My eyes were clenched tightly shut now.

"Last thing I remember was being thrown in the air. The next thing I remember waking up in the hospital; my mother and father were there. I was shouting for Marty, asking about him and they wouldn't tell me…" I choked, my grip on Eva tightened. I was holding on to her now not the other way around.

"Eventually Marty's mother came in, she told me that Marty's spine had been damaged during the accident. He'd been thrown into the tree at an awkward angle. I don't know exactly how it happened. Marty was paralysed from the waist down. His body was struggling to cope with the shock and the strain. For months I sat by his bed side talking to him, he was constantly on medication and having operations to try to fix his legs or help his body cope with the stress, I skipped Prom, graduated with my highest grades in Science. My plan was to go into Biology and then come up with a way to help Marty walk or at least live with out pain or the operations again." It all had seemed so noble to me at the time. All these aspirations had been wasted.

"I was two years into my degree; Marty went in for another operation on his spine. I found out he'd died that night on the operating table." Tears were running down my face now clear and free. I let go of Eva and put my hands over my face to shield my tears.

"All my parents knew was that I disappeared for a year. They don't know where I went just that I disappeared for a year." Even as the tears ran down my face a small smile crossed my lips, rubbing my eyes I let out a deep sigh.

"I spent the year travelling around the country, doing things that me and Marty had said we'd do. I ended up here in Miami with Marty's uncle. He took me in, introduced me to a few of his connections. Eventually I started up a new life here, Megan trained me to be a C.S.I, and I've been here ever since." I told her, wiping away the remnants of the memory as well as my tears.

"I'm sorry." Her words were soft, but I heard the truth she spoke. Eva told me no lies. Her arms went around my neck cradling my head in her shoulder gently. The scent of her dark hair lulled me into calm. As she held me I realized that the feel of her in my arms was soothing my soul. Taking a deep breath my hand moved instinctively to her hair, smoothing it under my hand. I loved the silky feel of it under my touch. Closing my eyes I took in everything about her, and everything about this moment. A smile played upon my lips as I remembered how she gave me a run for my money in what I faithfully deemed "The Battle of the Trace Lab". She knew I wanted no pity, she didn't give me it, she just showed me how much she cared. With no words she'd told me how much she understood. Maybe that's what led me to kiss her. Her beautiful oceanic eyes lowered and met mine and that was it. Something took over me and suddenly my lips were on hers, gentle, probing. If she didn't want this I understood, I took rejection well. Her hands became laced within my hair pulling me further into her essence. Somehow we managed to get to our feet without breaking apart. I found myself suddenly inside her bedroom being forced against her bedroom door with a ferocity I wasn't aware that anyone of her stature was capable. Her slim fingers began to undo the buttons on my shirt as her lips sought out the hollow of my throat. Her kisses forced me to moan deeply. Panic rose as I realized that my shirt was not on my shoulders anymore, it was now a delicate fixture on her carpeted floor. I became flushed with embarrassment, my scars featuring prominently in my mind. Feeling my deep intake of breath, her eyes rose to meet mine again. I guess she saw the fear in them. I also guessed she mistook it for something else. Her mouth closed, her lips clenched shut.

"Oh, I understand." She bowed her head, looking away from me. I frowned at her unsure of what she was talking about. Her face burning red with what I took to be shame. I could see her inwardly crawling back into her shell. Then it hit me. I'd been so lost in her I'd forgotten everything. What the hell was I thinking? This beautiful woman was here in front of me. Eva's shirt was hanging open revealing a lace black bra, her arms now wrapped around herself as she took a step away from me. She was gorgeous, furthermore she understood me, I felt I understood her too. Oh God what was I doing. I opened my arms imploringly, capturing her in them and wrapping her in them. Feeling skin against skin sent a shiver through me. Raw heat ran though me.

"Oh God Eva it's not you…It's my scars." I murmured. Her eyes were on my face. She was staring at me and I was staring back into her eyes. She took a step back away from me. Rejection panged in my heart, it was my turn to take a step back. I rubbed a hand through my hair; my face was beginning to burn. Eva and me? What had I been thinking? Eva's shirt fell to the floor in an elegant grace. My eyes were drawn to her face again. I couldn't read it.

"Scars?" her voice was low and questioning. I nodded, our eyes fixated on each other.

"Tim, I have scars too." She whispered. I watched as she turned around showing me her back. A mix match of scars patterned her skin. She undid the clasp on her bra to reveal a particularly jagged scar. I moved up behind her slowly, placing my hands on either shoulder. She shuddered under my touch as I gently traced the scars with my fingertips.

"How did you get these?" I asked her calmly, my fingers stroking along the lines of her back, slowly caressing her skin. Her head turned towards me slightly as she spoke.

"I got thrown through a pane of glass in a bar once, the bouncer in there turned out to be the killer, unfortunately I tried to apprehend him single-handedly. We went through the window; he rolled on top of me making the glass cut me. Timmy I don't care about scars." She told me. From that moment I knew I was accepted all my doubt rushed out and away from me. Her voice became husky as my hands rested on her hips as I tenderly kissed her neck. Feeling her against me forced me to give into the feelings I'd held back for her. I let my nose trail the slight curve of her neck, letting my breath brush her ear.

"You're beautiful." I whispered into her ear feeling push a little more against me. Carefully I let my hands caress her arms, helping relieve the thin straps of her bra off her body. With Eva I felt I had to move slowly, and gently. I wanted to let her know I was here to stay; this wasn't a one night thing. Yet when she turned around, her lips suddenly on mine I didn't even have the chance to open my mouth. All thoughts were rendered non existent as we ended up falling onto her bed in a passionate embrace. For the first time in my life I knew where I was meant to be. As we made love slowly, drawing it out to the point where she had me begging for release, I became aware there was nowhere else I'd rather be, not even in the lab working.


	10. Chapter 10:A Little Bit Of Fun

Chapter Ten

The light rays of the sun played along Tim's skin as I let my fingers play along the curve of his side. I felt rough tissue as the tips of them brushed over another scar. It was six am. I could never get out of my early routine, apparently neither could Tim. Mentally I calculated that we had another hour at least until Abbey got up, the poor baby was exhausted from yesterdays events. Tim was lying on his stomach next to me; I was resting on my side. Our fingers were entwined together. He'd already been awake long before I was. He told me he'd been watching me sleep. Our coffee and tea cups lay discarded on the floor either side of the bed. I was kind of hoping this was more than a one time thing. Last night… had been amazing.

Ever since the ordeal I'd been through, I'd been thinking about sex and the effect that the rape would have on it. I hadn't really hadn't really had many boyfriends since I'd gotten pregnant, I kind of hadn't wanted any. My job and Abbey were the priorities in my life. Besides guys don't like the fact a woman has a kid, and to be honest it was a two way package. I stayed away from guys, then when…it happened. I kind of didn't think I'd be able to do that ever again. I never wore anything that showed my cleavage or legs. In my mind I thought I'd been asking for it. According to my psychologist it was normal for rape victims to blame themselves. I kept thinking I'd get flashbacks, I'd heard in my support group that some people do. I also didn't want to feel any one touching me. In time with the help of Eric and my friend Emma it better. Eric had taught me that all men were not meant to be feared and that there were good guys in the world. The short fall of all this is that I didn't think I'd be able to have sex again. Yet here I was with a very handsome and caring man in bed.

When Tim had kissed me last night I'd felt what it felt like to be cared for again, I forgot about everything we'd been though, my only focus was him and the way he made me feel. I fallen into him naturally, it had been along time since my body had been loved. He'd been slow and considerate, his eyes on me all the time. That was until he pulled away, I can't believe that this gorgeous guy was so concerned about the scars in his body. They were pieces of him; each one told me a small story about him. I was desperate to get to know him more, and the scars were memories that were opening up in front of me, telling me what he'd been though. Even with them Tim was beautiful, and what the hell I have my own scars too. Emotional and physical, Tim seemed like the perfect person to share them with, that's if that was what he wanted. I wasn't sure what last night was to him, but I was aware he cared deeply for Abbey and me. It just depended on how he wanted to play this. The thing was he knew everything about me, he knew my darkest secret; he knew that I had a little girl. He'd been there to help me when I flaked out in the locker room; he'd saved my life from a satanic knife wielding maniac, he been stabbed trying to keep the guy away from me, I really didn't see what more could happen in this situation. I thought he'd run a mile after finding out what had happened to me. But he hadn't. He was still here lying next to me in bed.

"And this one?" I asked quietly looking at the shape of the scar, it was long and thin. It wasn't jagged, the scar itself was smooth. I was saying metal scar. He turned his head a little looking at it and laughed.

"I was teenager; I got into a scrap with a bully. He pushed me onto the floor in the playground; I just happened to land on a crushed soda can. The guy freaked out at all the blood everywhere, offered to give me my candy back if I didn't tell my mom." I found myself sniggering at his story. He turned onto his side facing me. Let my eyes run over his sculptured body until they came to the sheet that was covering his hips, barely. Mischievously I reached down and held the sheet up so I could see all of him. Last night he'd taken my breath away. I looked up to find him grinning at me.

"Like what you see?" he breathed as I dropped the sheet and caught his gaze again.

"Of course." I grinned, stroking his stubbly cheek with my free hand.

"What about you?" I asked pulling the sheet up and showing him what was underneath. He peeked in the gap I'd made.

"No regrets here. I love seeing you naked." He commented, now pulling the sheet up a little more.

"Pity you can't walk around the lab naked." I told him watching as he scooted closer, his skin touched mine, sending a demand for passion in between us.

"Cause too much of a distraction." He mumbled closing the air between us with a kiss. It started off slowly and as it deepened I moved myself against him tentatively. Tim responded by moving himself on top of me.

"I think someone's eager." He murmured into my ear, as I arched slightly into him.

"Well I think you'd have a problem hiding that." I told him looking down at his arousal. His laugh was warm and rich.

"How long have we got until the little rascal wakes up?" he asked placing another soft kiss on my lips. I glanced at the clock on the dresser across from the bed.

"Not too long, just over half an hour." I informed him; I let out a small moan as he gently nipped the side of my neck whilst rubbing himself against me.

"Let's see what I can do for you in thirty minutes."

Abbey was attempting to teach Tim the game Pat a Cake. He was failing miserably. While she scolded him, I sat at the table sipping the tea that I'd made a few minutes ago, reminiscing about that thirty minutes.

"Mommy, show him." Abbey's whine filtered through into my head. I turned to her, her face etched with a grouchy frown, and Tim's flushed bright red, his expression sheepish. Smiling slightly I sat down in the chair next to Abbey and held out my hands. Tim glanced at me over Abbey's head with a small smile on his face while Abbey recited the rhyme. His eyes were on her hands taking in the movements. I could see his brain ticking as he watched her tiny hands make the movements.

"Let me try." He said softly when we'd finished. He and Abbey began the process of Pat a Cake again.

"Yay, you did it." Abbey's voice was full of joy as she started up the rhyme again. I grinned shaking my head.

"Once she knows you can do it, she's never gonna let you stop." I told him watching them over the rim of my tea cup.

"I don't mind." He said, now singing the rhyme out loud too. Abbey giggled as she hit Tim's palms gently. I stifled a laugh while he did so. Watching him with Abbey gave me hope that Abbey had enough father figures on her life so she could forget about the real father who had betrayed her.

By the time Suzie had picked Abbey up to take her to day care I was changed for work. I was trying to get Abbey into a routine, so the move would be less hard on her. Tim was still in the shower. Even though I'd loved to be in there with him, there were a few things I had to think about. For example, work and what was going to happen now. Last night didn't feel like a one night stand. It felt like the beginning of something. Yet I wasn't sure, I knew we had to talk but I didn't want to wreck any illusion I had to it being something more. Yet it was not something I could let lie I had to know. Sighing at those thoughts, I flicked through the book of poems I was reading. My friend had found a limited addition copy of Ted Hughes "Birthday Letters" and given it to me as a leaving present. Emma was always thoughtful; she stayed with me a lot after the ordeal. She was gutted when I told her I was moving to Miami, but she understood, and was planning to visit here soon.

"You look deep in thought." Tim's husky voice interrupted thinking. I turned to him, my eyes focusing on his very small towel that wasn't exactly hiding anything. I felt red flush up my face, and my mouth a gape. His mischievous smile grinned at me from across the room as he lent on the door frame. My eyes rested on the stitches on his newly healing wound. I was trying to calm my body down, yet the thought of him naked underneath that towel…. The fact he was also still clammy and wet…

"Now Mr Speedle I hope you're wearing underwear somewhere in there." I spoke my eyes on his face, focusing on anywhere except the towel. I was trying to get things in perspective. Tim then proceeded to drop the towel. My face flushed again.

"Opps. I dropped my towel." I laughed as he spoke. He looked so confident standing there wearing nothing. I loved seeing him like that. Everything was slipping out my head quickly.

"I'll take that as a no." I told him standing up. He grinned at me again as I walked towards him.

"Eva… I think I need some help getting dressed." He spoke quietly raising an eyebrow, at the same time slowly backing to the bedroom. I followed him.

"Really?" I asked. "You seemed to get undressed absolutely fine." I told him.

"But I did drop my towel." He insisted, edging to the bedroom door. I picked up the towel following him through the living room.

"Yes that's true." I spoke stepping into the bedroom dropping the towel on the floor, and closing the door behind me. My clothes followed the same path as did any logic I had left, when Tim brushed up against me, pushing me into the door, making sure he was the only thing on my mind for the next few hours.


	11. Chapter 11: The Judge's Son

Chapter Eleven

"Hey Speed, can you still get a hold of that girl Veronica?" Delko asked from across the table in the break room while we sat and ate lunch. After the events of yesterday I figured everyone wanted to reconnect with each other. I munched happily on my Chinese takeout, glancing at Tim as Delko spoke. We'd brought it over on the way. Tim shook his head while using chopsticks to push some sweet and sour pork into his mouth.

"She hates me. Why do you want her anyway?" Was all he said before looking up to meet Delko's gaze.

"Our investigation would go a lot smoother if you could give us her number, she works with Fire and Rescue right?" Tim nodded, his gaze shifting uneasily between them both. Bad break up? I wondered. Calleigh next to me frowned for few seconds before grinning.

"Don't make me talk to her." Tim whined gruffly, eyes narrowing. Calleigh looked into her white takeout box innocently before adding disconcerted.

"Isn't she the one you threw up on?" Delko's mischievous smile broke out as if in memory.

"Oh yea I remember." He laughed as Tim's head sunk deeper into the takeout box, glaring at them over it. I grinned at the idea.

"Hey tell me the story." I asked leaning over the table. Calleigh moved towards me as if conspiringly. Eric's wide smile showed me he was enjoying Tim's embarrassment.

"Tim used to date this girl you see called Veronica. Well she has very nice clothes and she is always going on about them, how their designer and stuff." I felt a smile branch out on my lips. Tim was sulking in his seat more, refusing to look in my direction. Eric continued the story.

"Anyway we went out on a staff night out, and Speed and a lot of us were doing tequila slammers in the bar, seeing who could last the longest. Anyway about six shots later, Veronica happened to be in the same club as us. She tries to get Speedle to leave with her, and she'd leaning against her car, which is expensive by the way. And Speed's leaning over her, she moves in for a kiss to try and tempt Speedle with her. All that tequila came rushing back up on her face and down the front of her top which was Versace." My jaw dropped as I swung around to face Speedle.

"You threw up on a Versace?" his mouth gaped at me stunned, unsure what's to say.

"To top it off he just walked off pleasantly afterwards as of nothing had happened." I burst out laughing at the same time as Calleigh. Tim's face was bright red.

"What was I supposed to do, stand there and try and wipe it off her?" he snapped at us both, the image in turn made us laugh harder.

"The guy was too incoherent to even apologize." Eric told us through fits of laughter. Tim was grinning too.

"The top looked better with it on anyway." He remarked thoughtfully as the door to the break room swayed open. Stetler's head slipped through the gap, his eyes swept the room and landed intently on me.

"Black, it's time for your interview." He informed me, his gaze was steely and old. Standing up I picked the remains of my take out box and dropped it into the metal bin. The room was deadly silent as I followed Stetler out of it, closing the door behind me.

I'd been in the interview room before whilst interviewing a few suspects. It was nothing special. Just an ordinary interview room. If that was true why was I so damn nervous? I already knew the reason, who was I kidding? It was Stetler and the fact Internal Affaires had had to get involved. Scratch that it was more Stetler. The guy hated Horatio and his so called "Golden Team". There were many reasons why. The main one depended on who you talked to. Sitting in the interview room across from Stetler was unnerving; we sat in silence, the tape running. Whilst Rick's eyes bored into me I did the only thing that came naturally to me. I smiled, which in turn seemed to infuriate him more. He asked me to tell him the story. So I did, finished on the fact I'd spent the evening in the hospital with Speedle, Alexx and Horatio.

"There are a few parts of your story I'm not entirely clear on." Stetler informed me. Leaning forward with my elbows on the table, I raised an eyebrow.

"Like what?" I was puzzled by what he was saying; the story was pretty straight forward.

"Like why you seem pretty untouched by the fact yesterday you murdered a judge's son." He raised his voice to speak. Surprise ran through me as I stared at Rick unsure what he'd just said. The word murder was featuring predominantly in my head. As was the judge's son part.

"What?" Rick now was standing up leaning over me. Our eyes fixed on each other. I was unable to tear myself away.

"That kid you murdered was a judge's son." He told me calmly. Yet his face showed signs of irrationality. This was a fucking power game. All this political bull shit. He was using me against Horatio, while I'll be damned before I got involved in this. I found myself on my feet in front of him, our gazes locked.

"That "kid" nearly slit my throat and stabbed Tim Speedle to death. He had the fucking knife in his hand, raised above Speedle's chest for Christ's sake. Are you telling me you wouldn't have done the same Rick?" This was getting dangerous now; fire was ripping through me, daring me to beat the living crap out of Rick.

"Detective Black, sit down." He was seething now; I could see in his eyes I was right, he would have done the same. Inhaling a deep breath I returned to my seat. Yet I was nowhere near calm.

"What was a judge's son doing in what looks like a satanic cult Rick, what was he doing attempting to murder to members of the Miami Dade police?" I demanded as Rick came to sit in front of me. I could feel myself burning with rage. I could see this was going to be my fault. Rick's eyes narrowed. I wasn't supposed to be asking these questions. He wanted me to sit back and take it. Screw that.

"Now you transferred here from Liverpool?" he asked flicking open my file. I felt an intake of ice cold dowse the fire, which was my rage. The bastard. Rick looked up, and I guess he caught the expression on my face. His face twisted into a mocking grin.

"Is there something in here your scared of me seeing Black?" he asked me, waving the file. If he had it in his hand the likeliness was he'd read it. I crossed my arms over my chest and slumped back in my chair.

"Yes." Rick smiled at me maliciously.

"Reason for leaving?" I wasn't playing this game with him.

"It's in the file." I told him, watching with a little pleasure as his smile went down a watt.

"Anything to do with Blake Marriott?" I felt my muscles tighten, as I clenched my fists underneath the table top. I didn't answer. I knew where this was going.

"Politician's son wasn't he?" Grinding my teeth I nodded. Rick was trying to push my buttons, and as much as I tried to ignore it I couldn't. Rick crossed his leg over in the tiny chair.

"Got a problem with men in politics Eva?" he asked me. My eyes narrowed in his direction, I wanted to hit him. I wanted to batter the living shit out of Stetler. He leaned into me, his voice almost a whisper.

"Or is it just their sons?"

"I didn't know he was a judge's son." The calmness of my voice surprised me. Taking a deep breath I tried to cool myself down. I could win this. I wouldn't storm out or hit Stetler. I would stay here until the interview was finished.

"I shot the guy based on the knowledge at hand. He had a knife; he was going to stab Detective Speedle in the chest. End of story." I told Rick, he looked deflated, I'd played his game and I'd beat it at him, he didn't break me and for that I was proud.

"What's your relationship with Detective Speedle?" Rick asked in his hand a pen that had been lying on the table was now tapping away on it.

"He's my mentor for the next few weeks. We're partners on the case." I told him, suddenly edgy. It's not as if he could know about me and Speedle, no one did.

"I hear you both had a small conflict in the Trace Lab on your first day." I stared at him. How did he know that?

"He thought I was replacing him. Some rumours have been circulating since I covered for him while he was in muscle therapy. I set him straight." I glared at Rick over the tabletop; he folded his arms over his chest. I knew who fanned them. He'd told people he didn't think Speedle was fit for the job.

"Considering you've only known him a few weeks at most, you were ready to kill for him…" Rick began, eyeballing me over the table.

"He was ready to do the same for me…" I started Stetler interrupted.

"Instead as you stated, he put the gun down on the ground. Now why do you think he did that?" I could see what Rick was doing; he was trying to put the seeds of doubt in my mind. He wanted me to think I'd made a mistake. Admitting that would cost my career, and there was no way I had made any mistake. The guy was a killer clean and simple, he'd probably killed those people we found downstairs and he'd bee ready to kill both of us. We were just lucky I'd killed him before he could finish the job.

"The guy told him to, he had a knife at my throat. Detective Speedle didn't want to endanger my life any more than it already was. Where are you going with this Rick? You already know the story in full." I pointed out. Rick's jaw clenched.

"You're free to go." His retort was so abrupt and sudden I didn't have to time me to process it. His face was buried in the file in front of him.

"What?" I frowned, gaping at him.

"You're free to go, send Speedle in." I stood up brushing myself off, still in shock; reaching the door I put my hand on the handle to tug it open.

"Your off the case too, both of you, Calleigh and Delko will take over, and you'll take their case." My back was to him. I was dying to retort, instead I bit my lip and continued outside, slamming the door.

Taking a deep breath, I found Tim in front of me; I guess he'd been waiting around for his turn in the hot seat.

"How'd it go?" he asked me concerned. I guess I was still confrontational I met his gaze full on.

"Stetler's on fire today." I remarked, letting out a deep sigh. "He battered me with everything in my file. The guy I shot was a judge's son." I expected Tim to be shocked, or something but he wasn't.

"I know." Tim's hands were on my shoulders now, firm but gentle, his eyes concerned. I was starting to get worried. I found myself searching his eyes.

"What aren't you telling me?" I asked him, hands on my hips now. His tone lowered as he sighed.

"Judge Greenway, is here." He hissed. I shook my head not making a connection, seeing this Tim abbreviated.

"He just tore a chunk out of Calleigh because he thought that she shot his son. He's looking for you." Then it dawned on me. Oh My God. Poor Calleigh what the hell had she done to deserve that?

"Is she alright?" I asked Tim cautiously stepping away, separating us both. Tim shifted his head a little.

"She gave as much as she got back." Tim spoke volumes, in other words she roasted the bastard alive. I sighed, desperately wanting to apologize. I slumped against the world temporarily, folding my arms over my chest. When did this get so complex?

"Where is he?" I asked quietly letting my hair fall over my face. Tim's hand went up to my cheek, stroking it tenderly.

"Horatio's taken him to his office; the guy was kicking up a storm. Just do me a favour Eva, go back to the labs and stay there, until I come back. OK?" I jerked myself away from him. Speed frowned at me, unsureity etched on his face.

"I don't need you to baby sit me." I growled under my breath. Speed's face contorted in shock.

"I'm trying to help you, you idiot. You know what's going to happen when he gets his fucking hands on you? The media will tear you to sheds, way after he's finished with you, and your career will be over before you've even contemplated what your next thought is. You don't deserve that. For your own sake stay away from him." Tim snapped, without another word he marched past me and threw open the door into the interview room. Turning away from the door seething with doubt and anger, I decided to go in search of Calleigh to apologize.


	12. Chapter 12: The Truth Comes Out

Chapter Twelve

I was outside the ballistics lab; my hand poised nervously getting ready to knock. This was Calleigh's territory, and right now she probably didn't want to see me. I could understand that, but I still felt the need to try. I let my fist hit the door hesitantly. Hearing the noise reverberate through the silent hallway, I cringed. I hated the sound of silence, yet I hated breaking it more.

"Come in." The southern accent was warm and inviting. I opened the door a crack, peeking around it before entering. The door swung shut behind me, causing it to slam, I felt myself jump at the sound. Raising my eyes embarrassed, I looked up to see Calleigh taking a set of headphones off her head with a smile on her face.

"Oh, don't worry about that. The door always does that, it got me the first few times to." She told me handing up the head phones. She didn't appear to be mad. It was as if nothing had happened.

"What can I do for you?" she asked perching on a stool near her desk, she looked at me expectantly. I was still fazed by the fact her smile was dazzling me. I took a step towards her, and collapsed into the seat across from her. Leaning forward, elbows on my knees, I made eye contact with her.

"I really just wanted to say I was sorry, I heard about the judge thinking you were me." I told her, imploring. She simply stared at me innocent confusion knotting her pretty features.

"Why are you apologizing? It wasn't you who yelled me. He saw the first female in a lab coat and jumped to conclusions." She spoke pointedly. I rubbed my hands in my face knowing she was right.

"And we don't jump to conclusions." She continued. I felt like she was teaching me something. Her face was the portrait of seriousness, yet she emulated a patience that seemed beyond her years.

"I know you enough to know that if you seriously thought Tim's life was in danger you wouldn't have hesitated to pull that trigger. From my findings you didn't hesitate. I don't care what the judge says. The evidence says that his son was standing over Tim with a knife in his hand and that's what I believe. You did no wrong in my opinion and everyone here should know that." Calleigh told me folding her arms over her chest. I broke into a smile, combing my fingers through my hair.

"Thank you. To hear someone say that…" I broke off, she was smiling again. Calleigh stood up, taking her lab coat off and hanging it up.

"It's what everyone important thinks and that's what matters." She reminded me. I felt a smile break through on my face. She was right. Everyone important knew the truth.

"Let's go the break room, get a soda or something. Stetler give you a hard time in there?" she held the door open for me as we walked into the quiet corridor, leading up to reception.

"He pulled everything in my file out in there; I didn't know the guy was a judge's son." Calleigh stopped me for a second and turned to look in my eyes.

"Stetler's tactics are like that and he tends to do a lot of digging in the background. The likeliness is he already knows stuff, you thought only you yourself knew. He pulled it on Horatio a while ago, and he's doing the same now." Our eyes were searching each other. This felt like a test, it was true we were testing each other.

"But you got Horatio out of it then." From the look on her face I'd startled her.

"He told me." I added helpfully. Calleigh looked down the corridor back at the ballistics lab distantly. Her arms now folded defensively.

"I was sickened by the fact Stetler didn't go over the evidence in Horatio's case. The guy hates Horatio, he looked at things as they were in front of him and didn't delve deeper because he let his judgement become clouded by his own emotions." I watched her face patiently as she spoke; I was getting to see a side of her I didn't know existed. I knew she was protective over the team as were everyone, we pulled together as a group. This was more though; she'd seen the weaker side of Horatio and had to take control of the situation. Calleigh was a very strong woman.

"You're doing the same for me now." I murmured to her. "Stetler's trying to get to prove I have a problem with the politics, and that's why I shot Greenway's son." Her frown was imminent, curiosity danced on her face, yet she said nothing. She simply looked at me. I didn't really feel ready to take that leap of faith yet. We both left it at that, continuing our walk down the corridor slowly, talking about Delko's inability to return the things he borrows from other people's kits. I didn't even realize when we'd walked through reception and were in the midst of the lab labyrinth.

"It was so annoying. I had my crime light in my hand and it just wasn't working, I'm shaking it and everything. Horatio's staring at me wondering what the hell I'm doing, and standing behind me Speedle, and Delko are just laughing hysterically. It was awful." Calleigh shook her head in remembrance. I smiled imagining the scene.

"I swear to God if I find anything in my kit missing again…" Calleigh's voice was interrupted by one much deeper and commanding.

"Is that her? Is that the one that murdered my son?" Uh oh. My gaze swept up finding myself staring in the raging forest eyes of an older man. I took a step back taking in the scene. Horatio was working his way towards us. The older man who I was guessing was Judge Greenway was taking another step towards me. His face bright read, sweat dripping down it, his teeth grinded together. I don't think I'd ever seen anyone so mad before. He was right in front of me now. His hands clenched tightly. He was a bully. Someone who was used to getting what they wanted.

"Are you even remorseful for what you did to my son?" he growled at me. He was inches away from my face. I hate it when people get in my face.

"Do you think your son would have been remorseful if he'd managed to slit my throat and murdered Detective Speedle?" I shot back. The Judge's face crumpled as he gaped in disbelief.

"You lying whore. My son died because you've got something against politicians." He yelled at me. His voice going to higher levels. This guy was pissing me off.

"Actually you know what Judge? I don't. Where were you when your kid got involved in this cult?" I retorted my hands on my hips. I'd lost my temper and professionalism a few minutes back.

"Listen to me, you little bitch, I know all about you, how you accused a Anthony Marriott's son of raping you, and how the case got thrown out due lack of evidence. I don't know what my son did wrong to you but I'm not going to let you ruin his good name by saying this was his fault." I stared at the judge as he bellowed at me. Faces all around us were starring. Red hot shame was burning up my face.

"How did you know…?" I asked before I could stop myself. Dazed and confused I pulled away from him.

"Did you really think I'd come here without digging around a bit?" I felt the air draining out of me as he said it. Everybody knew every single person in the lab knew. I was faltering backwards. The judge had me by the throat. He'd ruined me.

"That file is confidential Judge, now where would you get that information from?" Horatio moved in front of the Judge, moving his sunglasses down away from his eyes. I was stunned. Unsure what to do or say, everything was in the air now. What the hell was I going to do? Before I'd even realized it, Calleigh had taken hold of my arm and was gently pulling me back down the corridor towards the Trace Lab. Horatio apparently was still battling the judge. Calleigh sat me down on my work stool, and yanked Speedle's closer so she was across from me. I guessed by the way I couldn't react I was in shock.

"It's true isn't it?" she spoke taking my hand in her pale little one. I nodded unable to answer. Tears were forming in my eyes. Tim was right; it was over before it had begun.

"Everything was doused in ammonia." I admitted, numbness was setting in. I couldn't stand the idea of everything right now. I just wanted to work.

"I'm sorry." Calleigh murmured. She turned quickly ready to deflect whoever was coming through the door at the moment.

"How's my poor baby?" Alexx broke into the room with a smile, Calleigh standing protectively next to me.

"The judge still here?" I asked peering at Alexx through my hair. Alexx shook her head for empathized.

"He's being escorted from the building as we speak." I nodded slowly, meeting Alexx's warm eyes.

"Guess you know everything huh?" I said to her bluntly. Alexx took Calleigh's previous seat.

"Honey, what happened there's all kinds of rumours flying around. I'd rather hear it all from you." She told me, patting my arm. The need to be understood was prominent, yet the shame was still there too. I decided to give in.

"I was working a double homicide, two young girls in their twenties, raped and beaten to death. My investigation led me to Blake Marriot; he's the son of an English politician over there, high ranking one. I knew he was the suspect, but the evidence was lacking, I kept going over it and over it again and again. Me and Blake traded insults with each other a lot. I promised I'd get him. I promised the parents of those girls I'd get him. I promised myself." I squeezed my eyes shut blocking everything out. I wrapped m arms around myself bitterly attempting to push all the memories away. I didn't need their pity.

"I'd been working late one night. Eric was over; he was looking after Abbey while I was there. I was walking home; my house wasn't that far from the station, a few blocks. There was a scuffle, some how I was pulled into an alley; there was gravel all over the floor." Tears were running down my cheeks now, but I was yelling mentally for them to leave I didn't want to recount this. Yet I felt I had to. My voice steady I continued.

"He beat me, I tried to fight I really did. Oh God I tried so badly." I let out a deep sob, before catching hold of myself. I had to finish this.

"He was already on me before I realized what he was doing; I already knew what was coming. I was the one woman he needed to dominate. He gave me the worse humiliation possible. He raped me, he called it our love affair, and he was laughing while he did it. I couldn't move, I had to just lay there and take it. He…finished on my face, in my hair….." I was sobbing hard now; Alexx's arms instantly wrapped around me, holding my while the tears and the memories overwhelmed me.

"Shh honey its ok." Alexx soothed me, stroking my head. I clung to her desperately. I know they wanted to know what happened. Yet I was too distraught to tell them. I felt ashamed for crying but right now, everything was hitting me in waves.

"After that Eva Black was beaten to the brink of unconsciousness. She managed to stumble one hundred yards to her house, to Eric Delko who called the authorities, and stayed with her while she went through hours of processing." My head swung towards Speed in surprise, next to him stood Delko, Horatio slightly in front of them, hands on his hips. He'd recited the exact words on the file. He really had read everything. It was public knowledge now. Horatio took another step towards me, attempting to regain my composure I rose to meet him, facing him head on. Our eyes met, his simmering blue were boiling over in what I could only gather was repressed anger. Everyone's eyes were on us, unsure what was about to happen. I was pretty sure what was about to happen, I was about to get fired.

"I'll remove my things straight away." I spoke to him quietly, studying his face openly. I'd screwed up, I knew it. There was no point in not taking responsibility for it.

"Is it really that bad?" his statement surprised me.

"Working here?" I asked softly, analysing his features, the man gave away nothing.

"Can you still work here even if everyone knows?" he asked me taking his sunglasses off.

"So long as it doesn't change the way people respond to me." I answered honestly. I demanded equality for myself.

"It won't change the people who are important opinion on you honey." Alexx remarked behind me. What she was saying was true. I'd come here to start a new life, but there was no way someone could eradicate their past. Secrets were bound to come out, and unfortunately it just so happened had mine had.

"I know." My eyes rested on Tim's chocolate coloured ones. He was standing behind Horatio, his fists clenched tightly together. Yet his face clear of emotion, he was blocking this out until I made my decision. At that thought I realized that this was my decision. Horatio wasn't firing me, he was handing me a list of options. They were all waiting for me to pick one.

"You're not firing me?" I asked Horatio just to be on the safe side. He shook his head slowly.

"Not even after causing so much trouble here?" I reminded him raising an eyebrow.

"Let's just say you haven't caused any trouble yet." Horatio countered, giving me a grim smile. I looked at him quizzically unsure of what he meant. Horatio didn't answer.

"I want to stay here." I told him honestly. Horatio nodded, and turned towards the door.

"I better tell Stetler not to expect your letter of resignation on his desk." He smiled again, this time a little wider than I expected, I guessed that was one thing he was going to enjoy right now. My eyes focused on Speedle as his shoulders visibly relaxed.

"I thought we'd lost you there for a minute." Eric said slapping me on the back. I smiled at him sweetly before replying.

"I thought you had too for a minute." Whilst running my hand through my hair, I focused on Eric. I hadn't really spoken to him much the last few days and I felt I had to catch up at some point. We had a lot to talk about. Saying that so did me and Speed. Eric folded his arms over his chest looking down on me. Alexx, Calleigh and Speed were around us now as well.

"So you're staying now for good?" he asked with uncertainty. I nodded staring up at him. A boyish smile crossed his face.

"How about I come and see my favourite two girls tonight?" he asked me, his eyes lighting up. I didn't know if I had plans with Speedle or not but they could wait, building up the relationships I let falter was important right now.

"Only if you promise not to teach Abbey any more Spanish. I don't understand what she says to me while I'm making dinner sometimes. Oh and Speed's staying another night too. The doctor told me at least two nights worth of supervision." I spoke with my eyes directed on Speed, he looked away for a second distantly, and then back. Something was wrong with him and I could feel it as if it was my trouble.

"I gotta get back to the morgue, those bodies won't be giving themselves an autopsy I can tell you that." Alexx told us giving me a little wave as I left the lab.

"Come see me later." She said to me before leaving.

"Ok."

Eric and Calleigh moved towards the door following her.

"I'll catch you tonight?" he asked questioningly.

"Sure." Calleigh pulled Eric out of the room, giving me another dazzling smile and closed the door behind her.

There was a long silence as me and Tim starred at each other.

"So you're staying?" he asked, arms crossed over his chest, he moved behind his work bench avoiding my gaze.

"You were just in that conversation." I pointed out. He scowled at me from across the table. I raised an eyebrow.

"I haven't seen that face, since my first day here." I remarked with humour. Tim said nothing; he placed both his hands on either side of the table, looking down at it.

"I told you to stay away from Judge Greenway." He spoke with an odd tone in his voice. I crossed my arms over my chest.

"And I told you not to baby me." I retorted at him. Tim looked at me in disbelief.

"You are so God damned stubborn. You know what whilst you were on the hunt for Greenway, I was sitting in there trying to prove to Stetler that you didn't just shoot that kid for the fun of it." He barked at me pointing at the direction of the interview rooms.

"You and I both know that's not what happened." I told him irritably. Tim raised his head glowering at me over the work surface.

"Why didn't you tell me the guy who raped you was a politician's son?" he asked quietly. I felt like he'd struck me.

"Is this what this is all about?" I whispered. Tim bowed his head, not looking at me.

"You let me go in there flying blind Eva." He muttered.

"I went in there just the same Tim." I returned, backing around my side of the bench.

I didn't see why you needed to know it." I told him. My eyes were on him still. His met mine imploringly.

"You could have trusted me."

"I did trust you." I spoke quietly realizing I was talking in the past tense. His eyes widened as he too realized.

"Was that all I was to you? An office fuck?" he barked at me. I could see the hurt in his eyes; he looked away, jaw clenching. My eyes widened in surprise. I scooted around to his side of the bench.

"You were never just an office fuck to me. You're so much more than that." I told him my anger was pacing through my body willing him to understand. He turned to me, his eyes ablaze. I felt like screaming at him. Tim opened his mouth to say something. The tension in the air was thick. I felt like I had to do something, this fight could goon forever and I'd lose him. I blurted out the only thing that was prominent inside me.

"I love you." Tim froze mid word, his eyes steeled on me, doubt mixed in his features. I forced myself to meet his eyes.

"I love you." I repeated, grabbing his smooth hand I caressed it with my fingers. His lips were suddenly on mine. All the anger and betrayal forgotten. His hand went in my hair pulling me closer, igniting the same passion as last night. I pushed against him, feeling him hard against me. As quickly as it happened we found ourselves pulling away from each other remembering where we were. Leaning towards him I spoke.

"New rule, no close situations at work." I murmured. He nodded his agreement, a wide smile across his rugged features. I moved back around to my side of the bench and sat down on my stool, a coy smile on my face. I looked around at the post its stuck on my desk with various evidence bags attached to them. I think it was time to get to work.

"Eva?" I looked up sorting the evidence into piles. Tim's face was buried in his microscope again, by the way he was acting; he wasn't coming up for air anytime soon. I guess I had to get used to seeing him like that.

"What?" I replied, looking back at my piles, trying to figure out where to start.

"I'm in love with you too." His husky voice drowned out all of my thoughts. Smiling to myself I realized my life had just gotten a lot better. The truth had come out today in more ways than one and part of me was glad for it.

End


End file.
